Rants and raves deconstructing our culture
(updated 1/2/12)
We at the LCN syndicate are a group of young writers, involved with projects like LIES, A&A and other bits on the fringes of society. We provide these writings to various web and printed newspapers and are happy to present them here for our loyal readers.
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1998 Columns:
Tyler Jane Barley
Cross my heart and hope to die (1/25/98)
Thanks, but... (4/26/98)
Sports centered (5/17/98)
Aargh! I married a dork! (8/2/98)
All grown up (9/27/98)
Lisa Black
Subpoenaed again (2/15/98)
Todd Foltz
Bitten by the goose of love (3/29/98)
John Hedgecoth
Why? Because we like you! (12/6/98)
What national ordeal? (12/27/98)
Chris Jungle
Replacing the swoosh (1/4/98)
The universe that keeps on going and going (1/11/98)
Why are people mad at Woody? (1/18/98)
This is some good milk (1/25/98)
A damn fine story (2/1/98)
Schoolboy fantasies (2/8/98)
Above the law (2/15/98)
The word artists (2/22/98)
Make sure not to tell anyone (3/1/98)
Basketball jones (3/8/98)
A milestone for Dr. Jack (3/15/98)
Pickles, corn dogs and Kennedys (3/22/98)
Reggie's ramble (3/29/98)
A successful trip (4/5/98)
Not sweating the little stuff (4/12/98)
Living for the distractions (4/19/98)
The super germs (4/26/98)
Protests--American style (5/3/98)
Scrambling to cover an opinion (5/10/98)
Crashing the big bomb club (5/17/98)
Second-hand Mexican smoke (5/24/98)
Quick little ditties on the clickityclickclicky (5/31/98)
Biting the hand that feeds (6/7/98)
"I'm a Lopez, too!" (6/14/98)
The world is playing together (6/21/98)
Two pieces of white bread and a big stack of beef (6/28/98)
The Dingo Bar is closed (7/5/98)
If you don't want your children smoking pot... (7/12/98)
Faking enthusiasm (7/19/98)
Freedom isn't free (7/26/98)
Some American people (8/2/98)
Bombing doesn't prove a point (8/9/98)
Speculation and rumors (8/16/98)
A nation of excess (8/23/98)
Me and Lily and Dolly and Jane (8/30/98)
It's not us, it's them (9/6/98)
36 boxes (9/13/98)
A deal from the monopoly (9/20/98)
Sammy and Mac (9/27/98)
Locals (10/4/98)
The value of the special paper (10/11/98)
You're our man, but we don't like you (10/18/98)
Smashing a hole in the roof (11/1/98)
Election lessons learned (11/8/98)
Killing mice and men (11/15/98)
Thank you, thank you (11/22/98)
Neck to the ground (11/29/98)
Operation Pull Pot (12/6/98)
The NPS reports (12/13/98)
Three wars, one day (12/20/98)
Don't take it back (12/27/98)
Michael Maiello
An open letter to the United States (1/4/98)
The Versace exhibit (1/11/98)
No sexual relations without representation (1/25/98)
The green hills of unemployment (2/1/98)
The health and security of our great nation (2/8/98)
I, Hussein (2/15/98)
The day I learned to sell, sell, sell (2/22/98)
Mutually assured destruction (3/1/98)
Nasty, brutish and short-tempered (3/8/98)
Where you get your kicks (3/15/98)
Catching up (4/12/98)
Theater of wonder and blunder and plunder (4/19/98)
Sex in the time of the Supreme Court (4/26/98)
Elizabeth Wurtzel is totally hot (5/10/98)
Trade jones (5/17/98)
Give Israel the bomb (5/24/98)
A tale of two hippies (5/31/98)
Some unabashed support for Clinton (9/20/98)
Not dumb (10/11/98)
For whom Art Bell tolls (10/18/98)
The moderate manifesto (11/15/98)
Twinkle, twinkle, Kenneth Starr (11/22/98)
My news magazine (11/29/98)
Viva Gorditas (12/6/98)
Twelve steps for impeachment addiction (12/13/98)
The art of war (12/20/98)
Bill Worley
Helping real people in Honduras (11/8/98)
The "sin" of purple pride (11/29/98)
The big lie (12/13/98)
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Jon Worley
Root hog or die (1/4/98)
Our amazing and expanding universe (1/11/98)
Ponce de Leon's revenge (1/18/98)
Starr magazine (1/25/98)
It's that damned liberal guilt again, doc (2/1/98)
Pie? (2/8/98)
Stoning the stoner and other tales (2/15/98)
You're from Canada? Do you play... hockey? (2/22/98)
Impeachment and other pleasures of the flesh (3/1/98)
Fearaphobia (3/8/98)
More wisdom from the Dead Sea Bowls (3/15/98)
Only 69 shopping days until June (3/22/98)
Cherry pink and pear blossom white (3/29/98)
Marching as to war (4/5/98)
Death to marriage (4/12/98)
Just grill it (4/19/98)
Flattery is the sincerest form of imitation (4/26/98)
Hi there! (5/3/98)
Insane, or insanely great? (5/10/98)
The good kinda pain (5/17/98)
It's my fault! (5/24/98)
Nukey (5/31/98)
Decline and fall (6/7/98)
Critical of thinking (6/14/98)
Mass screenings (6/21/98)
Sampson needs his Samsonite (6/28/98)
You gotta know when to fold 'em (7/5/98)
Paris is burning (7/12/98)
Raspberry foray (7/19/98)
Let me list the ways... (7/26/98)
Consciously conscious (8/2/98)
Jane, just admit it (8/9/98)
Tasting greatness (8/16/98)
A Hummer is an automobile (8/23/98)
Over the ocean and through the woods (8/30/98)
I'll second that city motion (9/6/98)
Ride, Sammy, ride (9/13/98)
Expert idiocy (9/20/98)
Preferences (9/27/98)
Cider wishes and Oktoberfest dreams (10/4/98)
One of us (10/11/98)
Tabouleh-bouli (10/18/98)
Crash and burn (11/1/98)
Mekons and me (11/8/98)
The waist gap (11/15/98)
Moving to a movie town (11/22/98)
Final dispatch from the not-quite Amish Country bureau (11/29/98)
I think... I'll put my head up my ass (12/6/98)
Not very Christian (12/13/98)
When you absolutely, positively have to impeach the president (12/20/98)
Another archetypal moment (12/27/98)
Matt Worley
A petulant frenzy (1/4/98)
Yeah, I'd like one of those in green (1/11/98)
The top tens (1/18/98)
Jobs and morality (1/25/98)
Me & my monkey (2/1/98)
Da games (2/8/98)
Blood on the dance floor (2/15/98)
Wake up dead man (2/22/98)
Nothing (3/1/98)
The cost of art (3/8/98)
Picking the Oscars (3/15/98)
The difference a haircut makes (3/22/98)
Ju'da or the art of wasting money (3/29/98)
Does time slip? (4/5/98)
Great expectations (4/12/98)
I was a teenaged drummer (4/19/98)
Wear sunscreen (4/26/98)
I feel alive (5/3/98)
A definite liberal bias (5/10/98)
The dead generation (5/17/98)
No more drive ups (5/24/98)
Nothing to fight for (5/31/98)
Education, verse 34 (6/7/98)
Split decision (6/14/98)
Purchasing power (6/21/98)
Wrapping up (everybody bitch remix) (6/28/98)
All the luck in the world (7/5/98)
Summer doldrums (7/12/98)
Moving on (Red Aunts chaos mix) (7/19/98)
Down that dusty road again (Rancid bloodshot remix) (7/26/98)
Hating the job and other observations (8/2/98)
Monica Lewinsky is a former White House intern (8/9/98)
I'm going there again (Can't Hardly Wait slamdance) (8/16/98)
Summer nights (winding down) (8/23/98)
Once more before I hit the door (8/30/98)
Pretty soon, it'll all be over (9/6/98)
The Starr Report (short attention span mix) (9/13/98)
Sometimes human (9/20/98)
Happy now? (9/27/98)
The new TV story (10/4/98)
Wearing costumes (10/11/98)
Human failings (10/18/98)
I've grown tired of their childish antics (11/1/98)
Fuzzy revolutionary logic (11/8/98)
Of videos and lesbians (11/15/98)
Buy, buy, buy, now, now, now (11/22/98)
Showing restraint? (11/29/98)
The musical year (12/6/98)
For the last time--really! (12/13/98)
Whatever happened to... (12/20/98)
New Year's resolutions (12/27/98)
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