Reggie's ramble
a SUIT column by Chris Jungle

Being the defensive star of a Super Bowl caliber team has its perks. You get better service at the restaurants, big-time commercial contracts to hock soup, and even an invitation to speak in front of the Wisconsin legislature. Reggie White of the Green Bay Packers is the 'you' to which I refer, and the comments he said by taking the invitation to talk to lawmakers are what my personal ramble will be about.

Okay, let's recap the highlights. White people are good at tapping into money and creating businesses, black people thrive at worship and celebration, Indians are spiritual but were also good at sneaking up on people during revolutionary days, Asians have creativity because they can turn a TV into a watch, and Hispanics have good families because they can fit 20 to 30 people in one house. All of these traits are found in the different races, and according to White, make up the Nature of God.

What he intended with his examples was to show that everyone was part of God's plan, but unfortunately, it was a case of the ends not justifying the means. When people are explained in stereotypes (even positive ones), it's never the best way to prove a point. For one thing, I'm white but not very good at getting money, and every small business I've been a part of is now resting in a capitalist cemetery. Does that mean I'm one of the worthless white people who doesn't even do the stereotypical aspects well? If that's the case, Reggie and God might look unfavorably on my existence.

Even with that being said, I'm not mad that Reggie spoke for an hour explaining a theory I believe to be totally untrue. In fact, I wish more people would stand up and say what they think even when it's unpopular to the rest of us. Reggie said exactly what he thought, and even with all the generalities, you knew exactly what he meant.

He also went on to explain homosexuality as a sin that needs to be dealt with, and went on to say how the Bible gives examples of this. This wasn't too surprising because Reggie is an ordained minister. For some reason, many Christians and preachers like to point out their beliefs on same sex relationships.

Again, I have no problem with Reggie saying this even though I think he's absolutely wrong. I like it when people come to their own conclusions and cite a book to explain their thinking. I should defend my laziness and indifference by quoting lines from Catcher in the Rye. Or does everyone have to think highly of the book before you're allowed to quote it to them?

As far as homosexuals go, I've met a few, and while they can be embarrassingly flamboyant and brash, they also seem to be born with their sexual preference. So if it's a sin, then they were just born sinners, and there's not much anyone can do about it no matter what any line in any book says. Unless the goal is to harass a bunch of people who get harassed all of the time anyway--people should get off gay people's backs (pun intended).

So, thanks for opening my eyes, Reggie. I know there are a lot of people who think the way you do, but they don't have the courage to come forward and say what they think. I respect your intentions in spite of your beliefs. You just wanted to bring everyone together, but maybe you didn't realize how far apart we all are. You can't sum up races with a couple sentences or explain a person's sexual urges with a book thousands of years old. I wish we could. Everything would be much easier, but it isn't. People have their own unique ways of doing things, contradicting their own thoughts, inhibiting their own desires, confusing themselves along with everyone else. It's all pretty complicated and hard to explain, and maybe that's the true Nature of God.

Chris Jungle looks and acts just like a stereotypical white male without all of the redeeming qualities.


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