It's not us, it's them
a SUIT column by Chris Jungle

Okay, this little rant is about New Mexico politics, but I think people can extrapolate the information for any state and national political race.

Bob Anderson, the Green party candidate for the first congressional district in New Mexico, received a phone call from none other than Dick Gephardt. THE Dick Gephardt. Not only was Anderson surprised by the call but also soaking in the tub at the time the phone rang (who says we don't get good investigative reporting in the newspapers?).

The request was pretty short and sweet from THE Gephardt--please, please, please drop out of the race.

During the special election held this summer for the vacant congressional spot due to the death of Rep. Steve Schiff, Anderson picked up an impressive (for third party candidates) 15 percent of the votes. The Democratic candidate, Phil Maloof got 39 percent while losing to the 44 percent attained by Republican Heather Wilson. The Election Part II occurs in November.

A common belief from the outcome is that if there was no Green party, almost all of their votes would have gone to the Democratic candidate. Do Phil Maloof, Dick Gephardt and the rest of the Democrats blame themselves for the defeat? Of course not. They sit around ranting "It's not us, it's them. If it wasn't for those newfangled Greens with their crazy new ideas, we would have won that election."

How do they want to solve the problem? Get rid of the competition. Genius! Brilliant! You know what? I think they should take it one step farther. Try to get both candidates to quit. Without any other competition, the Democrats would surely win. Wouldn't they? In fact, why don't we just have one candidate for every position. That way we would always vote for the winner. Let's have THE Gephardt talk to everyone and make them a deal, so the Democrats could win every time. That's my campaign manager strategy. Where do I sign up?

Back to reality, I would like to explain why Anderson received 15 percent of the vote or at least why he got my vote. Phil Maloof is a handsome, rich thirty-one year old guy. He practically financed his entire campaign with his own money. I didn't mind that. It's what he did with that money. He spent it on those mud-slinging commercials saying how bad Wilson was. This got annoying very quickly. Another problem with Maloof is that he never seemed to know anything. He always mentioned how he went door to door talking to people about what they wanted a congressman to do. Although he never stopped by my door, Maloof never really seemed to learn about any of the issues from the people he actually visited. Oh well, if you're going to be clueless, you might as well be a handsome, rich guy.

This isn't to say I enjoy Heather Wilson either. She talks like a pissed off Janet Reno (even in her acceptance speech), and I assume she would punch me in the face if we ever met. Oh well, if you're going to be a Republican, you might as well want to hit me.

Bob Anderson is not dumb, mudslinging, or mean. He is a professor at the University of New Mexico, lives inside the city, and has some pretty common-sense ideas. I'm still kind of surprised only 15 percent of the voters thought he was the best candidate.

And that's the real point. Voting for the best candidate. Wilson will vote for what Republicans tell her to vote for in Congress, and Maloof would do the same for the Democrats. If that's what people want out of congressmen, that's fine. Vote for who you want. But there's no reason for THE Gephardt to call up candidates to tell them they should drop out, so the Democrats (i.e. enemy the Greens have most things in common with) can prevail.

Anderson declined THE Gephardt's offer saying the Democrats and Republicans had more in common with each other than the Greens. I told you he wasn't dumb. As for the Democrats, if they really want to win, they should educate Maloof. He already looks good, so they need to make him sound good. As for the Republicans, just make sure Wilson doesn't hit anybody.

Oh yeah, one more thing for the Democrats. It was your fault, and not anyone else's.

Chris Jungle led the league in personal fouls and set a record for most name calling and finger pointing last season.

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