Not sweating the little stuff
a SUIT column by Chris Jungle

I was biking along the side of the road, minding my own business, when a lady walked out onto the road, blocked my path, and asked me to stop. I did--wondering what the problem was. It turns out she was a reporter doing a story on how airport traffic would be diverted over my neighborhood for a bit while the city does some construction. Of course, she wanted to know my opinion on the subject.

Now, being a columnist, you might guess that I had a bevy of good points to tell this nicely dressed and made up lady about airport noise pollution. I didn't. I didn't care at all about the airport noise and told her it didn't bother me, still baffled that she walked in front of my bike path for a non-emergency. Before I knew it, I was telling her that airport noise didn't bother me with a microphone hooked on my backpack, a camera in my face, and a bike between my legs.

The whole ordeal only took a couple minutes, and I said some unintelligent, monotone answers. Something probably very fitting for local TV news. It's been a long time since I've watched local news, and the main reason is because they talked about things that didn't interest me like airplanes flying over my house. She might as well have asked me what I thought about the effect of radio waves on my brain, and she would have gotten the same slightly confused response--it doesn't bother me.

I heard a saying a long time ago, and it immediately had an impact. I don't know where I first heard it or who coined the phrase, but once the words Don't Sweat the Little Stuff came into my ears, I took them to heart. Just because I spew out an opinion every week doesn't mean everything gets me all riled up. Some issues in this world have absolutely no effect on my conscience.

I don't worry about dogs being off leashes, kids being out after curfew, the amazing number of pederasts living in my zip code area, what people are doing to spice up the Easter holiday, or airplanes flying over my house. There are things I care about that I don't share with other people. I'm still working on a mathematical equation which will allow me to make an honest living without doing any menial, pointless, taking-up-eight-hours-of-my-day work, but I won't go into detail because I understand it's just something I'm concerned with. By the way, math doesn't have all the answers.

If we worried about every little problem that existed in the world, paranoia could be sold in shares on the New York Stock Exchange. Everyone needs to pick and choose which battles to fight. A man came up to my door one night asking me to join the fight against sprawl. Sprawl? It almost sounds like an evil super hero. The door-to-door fighter against sprawl explained to me for five minutes about how my hometown is growing at a outrageous rate which will eventually ruin the culture of the city. It's probably a valiant fight, but all I could think about was that this man probably went to several other homes repeated the same apocalyptic sprawling vision he told me. I shook his hand, informed him my funds were low, and told him to keep the faith.

Is this how problems get solved? Am I supposed to go around knocking on people's doors telling them that racism is segregating the country and ask for five dollars? Do I need to get a camera and block bikers from getting past so I can ask how they feel about all of the kids in America who don't know or want to learn how to read? Is that how it's supposed to work?

I'll never claim to have the popular opinion on several issues, but it just seems that if we all try to live honestly, steal from no one, consume in moderation, and respect everyone around us, then all of these other issues will be insignificant. Sometimes airplanes will fly over the house, sometimes cities become to big for their own good, and sometimes we worry way too much.

Chris Jungle made up the equation (ty - s = W), but he has no idea what it means.

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