There is a public service ad campaign on television called something like "The more you know..." Maybe it's "The more you learn..." I'm not sure. I don't know if it is sponsored by a teachers union, a national parent-teacher organization, the TV network or what. But the format is simple: A pretty face appears to tell kids to stay in school so they'll get good jobs and be happy people.
I applaud the intent, if not the reasoning, behind this series of commercials. But I always want to follow the ellipses with the proper statement. Like, the more you know... the less you are sure. Or maybe the more you learn, the less you really know. See, what we're supposed to learn in school (particularly college) is critical thinking. The ability to approach a given set of facts and decide how to use them.
Most importantly, if the critical thinking lessons have properly set, we can see other sides of arguments. We can understand how it is that another person, confronted with the exact same facts as us, will arrive at an opposite conclusion. The more critical thinking you know, the less Truth (with a capital T) you know. Truth becomes more and more subjective. Somewhere in Zen Buddhism is the idea that ultimate wisdom comes when you accept that you actually know nothing. All those little factoids occupying your brain are, in reality, completely useless. Once you comprehend that, you're wise.
Which is why conventional wisdom is such an oxymoron. But I'm getting ahead of myself. As most folks know, critical thinking is the great enemy of fundamentalism (any religion). Certain tenets must be accepted on faith alone, without any personal questioning. Specifically, many of the notions subscribed to by fundamentalist Christians are so logically tenuous that the only defense is the rather lame "The Bible said so."
Take, for example, the Southern Baptist Convention's endorsement of the Promise Keepers marriage ethic. The man of the house provides "servant leadership" (the example given is the relationship of Jesus to the Church), and the wife should graciously submit to her husband's role as master of the domain.
Lots of bad jokes could follow. But I'm gonna let Paige Patterson, the Southern Baptist president, do my dirty work. He said that anyone who disagrees with this arrangement are those "who happen not to be real familiar with the Bible." Now, while out proof-texting a proof-texter is great fun (it will be a demontration sport at the Salt Lake City Winter Games), it doesn't take even half a brain to shoot a big hole through this argument.
See, the Southern Baptists use Ephesians 5:22 as the basis for putting the man on top. It reads simply: "Wives, be subject to your husbands as you are to the Lord." Now, that sounds straightforward enough. But wait. Read the verse previous, Ephesians 5:21. "Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ." Now, that there verse definitely describes an equal partnership in a marriage. Reading literally (as the Baptists profess to do), there is no way to misinterpret that command. Of course, there is no way to reconcile Ephesians 5:21 and 5:22 without, gasp, interpretation.
I'm not gonna argue who's a better Christian, and I'm not gonna argue what the proper Christian way of doing things is. It's junk like this that drove me to become a born-again atheist. Nonetheless, I would like to apply some of my own personal wisdom, just for the hell of it.
For some families, a bread-winning dad and a submissive homemaker mom works best. Hey, I'm not gonna tell the wife to go out and get a job. If she likes her role, great. And if a bread-winning mom and a submissive homemaker dad works for some folks, bully for them. The vast majority of families operate somewhere in the middle, where the husbands and wives take the lead in different areas. My wife earns most of the cash and cleans the house. I cook, do the dishes and the laundry and try to make sure both of us stay sane. All of my married friends have similar arrangements with different particulars. They have systems which work for them.
Guess what? The world is made up of a bunch of different people. Six billion or so, not one person exactly like another. Just the slightest bit of thinking will tell you that there are no ironclad rules. Even the biggies, like thou shalt not kill, are regularly broken with judicial and spiritual impunity (self-defense is but one exception). The more I learn, the less big-T Truth I see. There are lots of little-t truths, but very few overarching rules. I certainly don't see any rational argument for forcing every family into the same mold.