Split decision
by Matt Worley

(ed. note--this column was written before game six of the NBA Finals)

I like Mike.

I can't deny this. It doesn't mean I have Air Jordans (or any Nike shoe for that matter), drink Gatorade or use LCI long distance. It means that I appreciate Mike for being the amazing basketball player he is. And because of this, I've been rooting for the Bulls (in the offhand way I root for any NBA team) for a few years now. It's not just the history in the making hype, it's the talent involved. The amazing resolve to not only be the best, but also his ability to elevate his teammates into being better than they should be at their advanced ages (as far as professional sports go). And all of us have to root for a winner every once in a while.

During the first half of game three a week ago, I predicted the finals would be over in five games. I was wrong, and now I will merely say that the Bulls will win. Because they have to. The Jazz want to, but the Bulls have to. Because this is it, everything is over after this. Everyone on this Bulls team (the ones that can, at least) will go on to big free agent pay days. The Bulls management will spend a little bit of money to get other free agent players as replacements. It's a cruel joke on fans to go from the greatest team in the world to worst--look at the Florida Marlins--and I think the owners of the Bulls will spend a few million to field a semi-marketable team next year.

Of course, like many millions all over the country, my love affair with the Bulls ends in a few days. I'll start watching the NBA Finals the same way I watch the Stanley Cup--which is to say I watch the patterns and plays instead of who is playing who. No emotional involvement other than to appreciate spirited bursts of athletic ability. That's okay. To much want for a win (just because I've followed a team all year and I know everyone's name) is an emotionally wrenching experience--especially when the win doesn't happen. That last Chiefs/Broncos game in January was ugly.

But I have a feeling the Bulls won't disappoint. Not that I have any money on the outcome or anything. I leave that kind of thing to people who really think they can predict the future. I'm just a babbler with a TV set.

In other sports news, I'm rooting for Cameroon. Just because I want to hear this announcement on our Spanish channels broadcasting the World Cup, "Cameroooooooon! Gooooaaaaal!" Otherwise, I really don't care much.

I'm not rooting for anyone in my Congressional District's Special Election. Because of Rep. Steve Schiff's death from cancer earlier this year, we are having two elections for my district's House seat. Both major party candidates have bought their way into contention. Maloof, the Democrat, is using his own money--he's a member of one of the richest families in the state, barely 30 years old, has been in state government for a couple of years and apparently wants to move to D.C. Wilson, the Republican, is funded by the Republican party and affiliated PACs--she's ex-military, a couple years older than Maloof and thinks a child's place is in jail. While her reserves are not as deep as Maloof's, it's not like she's playing with a ten thousand dollar trust fund.

Both are nailing each other for infractions of judgment so small, they make Starr's investigation of the Prez seem monumental in importance. Of course you can't sling major piles of mud when neither candidate has actually done anything at all. Neither are experienced. Neither are especially articulate. And neither will get my vote. I'm voting, by default, for the Green candidate Bob Anderson. He hasn't done anything either, but at least he hasn't already been bought.

Some friends and I watched the Phil Hartman Tribute on Saturday Night Live. And while the selections could have been better--they cut my favorite part of Hartman as Charlton Heston reading from Madonna's Sex book out--it was a nice coda to last week. A reminder that sometimes there are people who are pure gold at what they do. The reason to root for them is nothing more than a sincere appreciation of their amazing work.

I'll miss Phil Hartman. I'll miss Mike. I'll be glad when I only have to bitch about one of the idiots who wins the House seat.

Matt Worley is a little misty about the break up of the Red Aunts, too.

return to the Shut up, I'm talking page
return to the LIES home page
return to the A&A home page