I will exercise more. More biking, hiking and sit-upping. And maybe even some push-ups too.
I will not start wearing a t-shirt that reads, "Kiss Me, I'm Impeached."
I will get a new pair of shoes.
I will only go skiing if the snowfall gets above 35 inches.
I will stop watching as much TV, including sports and those lost hours watching marginally entertaining cable programs or reruns.
I will only write two more columns about the Monica affair and impeachment trials--unless this thing is still going on in March, after that it's fair game to break. If they can be longwinded, so can I.
I will remember to refer to Saddam Hussein as "the enemy," the people of Iraq as "helpless pawns of a corrupt regime," and The Enemy's brothers and close confidants as "The Posse."
I'll get my computer checked for Y2K compliance.
I will use my magnetic refrigerator poetry for good and not evil.
I will stop referring to oral sex as "a hummer" and call it the correct name-- "sexual relations."
I will get someone else to stand in line for tickets to the new Star Wars movie.
I will probably pay full price for said movie.
It better be good (kind of an indirect resolution).
I will refer to bombs as "instruments of education."
I will try to like my job more.
I will not have an affair with my interns--unless they're over 18 and really cute.
I will not get a hat with "Y2K is Kool" embroidered on it.
I will write better columns, provide better insight and spell no more than twenty-five words wrong each time out.
I will learn how to cook three more main dishes and two more desserts.
I will listen when other people are talking, instead of just nodding and grunting.
I will give people the benefit of the doubt, unless they're wrong.
I will eat out more.
I will stop referring to parties as "networking possibilities."
I will stop referring to extraneous female characters in movies as "the hottie."
I will stop referring to extraneous male characters in movies as "the dumbass."
I will try to get all of this unhinged aggression out of my system in more productive ways.
I will not rob a Wal-Mart, get cornered by cops, shoot a cat, my friend and then myself in a desperate attempt to prove that the Y2K problem is serious and real.
I will stop watching Sandra Bullock movies in hopes that they are good movies and admit why I'm really in the theater. Same with Katie Holmes.
I will only listen to "1999" by Prince a few times.
I will finish all of those projects I've been screwing around with for the last few years and make some real money--or get rejected more than a 100 times.
I will try to be out of the city (i.e. - in the country) next New Year's Eve.
I will listen to more jazz.

Chances are, Matt Worley will forget about this list in a few hours, thus absolving himself of any resolution responsibility.