Bombing doesn't prove a point
a SUIT column by Chris Jungle

Timothy McVeigh bombed a building in Oklahoma City because he was mad about what happened in Waco. The United States bombed Iraq because Iraq tried to take over a small oil-subsidized country. The Catholics bomb the Protestants in Northern Ireland because they don't like the Protestants bombing them. The Protestants in Northern Ireland bomb the Catholics because they don't like the Catholics bombing them. A terrorist group to be named later bombed two U.S. embassies in East Africa because they wanted to prove a point about something.

In case the title of this column was somehow overlooked or not thoroughly contemplated, let me say it once again. BOMBING DOESN'T PROVE A POINT. I hate to pull a Caps Lock statement on everyone, but sometimes it doesn't seem like people are paying attention.

I understand what the use of weapons are for, and why many countries spend much money on obtaining and stockpiling massive artillery. Weapons can be used for defense, offense, special teams, mugging, submission, burglary, big budget Hollywood movies, and an unnecessary force to make people do what they don't want to do. BUT IT DOESN'T PROVE A POINT.

You can put a gun to my head on election day, walk into the voting area, make me sign the register to ensure I vote, follow me into the booth, tell me to vote the straight Republican ticket, and I'll do it. I'll even do it with a fake yet charming smile on my face if you so choose. But you can't make me believe in your cause. It's not like everyone after the incident will see how correct you were in forcing a columnist to vote Republican, and follow suit with a wave of copy-cat-forced-voting-Republican-hostage-situations.

After the Oklahoma City bombing, it's not like everyone thought, "You know, that McVeigh sure did make me despise the government for what they did down in Waco." When Catholics get bombed in Belfast, they don't suddenly have the epiphany to denounce their way of worshipping Jesus Christ and embrace an entirely different way of worshipping Jesus Christ. When gangs shoot each other in the streets at night, no one decides it is time to join forces to create a massive, unstoppable gang like the proposition during the "Can You Dig It" speech in the movie "The Warriors."

What bombing, shooting, cutting, punching, pushing, tripping, gouging, spitting, and killing does is make people want to fight back. McVeigh is said to have feared for his life after being caught. Oh yeah? I wonder why he came to that conclusion. I can hear him in his cell complaining "I wanted to show the world how angry I was about what happened in Waco, and they ended up hating me and missing the point." If only someone had nestled up next to him before hand in a subtle yet flirtatious way whispering the sexy pillow talk words--HEY, BOMBING DOESN'T PROVE A POINT.

I don't know why bombs blew up at U.S. Embassies in Tanzania and Kenya, and whatever it is won't be a good enough reason. It will be a stupid reason in my mind. Maybe someone they knew got killed, so they decided to kill other people. Maybe the U.S. is supplying their sworn enemy with weapons and free penthouses. Maybe they were having a really, really bad day and had a couple car bombs to get rid of. No matter what anyone gives as a "valid" justification, it will sound stupid to me. And I'm pretty confident that it will sound stupid to a lot of people.

I'm sure all of the up and coming terrorists and wing nuts are out there saying "But Chris, it's not my fault you refuse to understand and comply with our beliefs and missions. That just means you're shallow. By the way, man, you haven't written any good columns since early '97."

So to all the crazies, revolutionaries, psychos, mentally ill, and major party pollsters, if you really want me (or anyone else) to be down with your cause, let's talk about it. Write letters explaining your feelings, go on those creepy Internet chat lines and scare everybody, call the news station with your favorite Doppler system and recite your manifesto, go to poetry readings so they could call you deep and passionate.

If you don't, all the killing and maiming you do will only make your enemies mad enough kill you and any people that had anything to do with you. And that makes any point you wanted to make seem kind of stupid.

Chris Jungle believes the only good reason to make a bomb is for cool fireworks shows.

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