Mitt "The Mitt" Romney said (according to a headline on Yahoo!, I declined to read the article because that's about as much information as I need...seriously, have you read articles on the Internet?) that Barack "The Prez" Obama doesn't have executive experience. Or enough of it. Or jelly doughnuts.

I will concede that this was a better argument four years ago, but if you've been doing a job for almost four years...I think you have experience.

I've been in my job for about four years, too. And I think I have experience. And I'd like a raise someday, too. The executives in charge of my company disagree (about the raise thing, not that I've been with the company for almost four years...I'm pretty sure they have no idea this is true).

The Mitt has been on the campaign trail for about eight years now (my estimation), which means he's been fucking around and telling lame jokes for quite a while.

Which means I get to make jokes about the notion of executive experience.

I've been watching the stock market and business news for quite a while now, and what I've seen is this: once someone has been an executive at any company, they are an experienced executive for life. They can completely fuck up, get millions in severance (they are getting fired, by the way, which means they didn't do the job very well at all), and then get hired by another company FOR MORE MONEY.

Why? Because they are an experienced executive.

In the movie Margin Call (a slightly fictionalized depiction of the kind of fiscal irresponsibility that created the Great Recession of 2008), the top executive sits at the head of the table (he's played by Jeremy Irons, and he's great) and, after listening to nitty gritty details for a little while, he stops the discussion. Then he admits he has no idea what the people are talking about and asks for a short list of ways to resolve the problem. His job, he says, is to pick the option he sees as best. And if there are only two options, that's even better.

In other words, if you've ever made a decision between a couple of options, you've got executive experience. Because that's what you do. Eventually the question gets pushed up the ladder to the guy with no one above him (or her). And that's when the multi-million making executive does the job.

When I worked at a newspaper, the first executive editor was an incredibly pampered, high society nob with a wife twenty years younger and a horse ranch. He was in his office on occasion. I think he might have said a word or two to me, but I'm not sure. I was part-time.

At my next company, the CEO also owned the company. He was a vain, fat man. And he was afraid of the women (as he was afraid of his wife), so the women took over the company. But he would bark and fight with us guys (the dogs), to the point where the company makeup became almost entirely female (and I left because I'd hit my glass ceiling).

Currently, I work for the US division of a Greek company. I have met the guys who run the US operations a couple of times. The one who is more directly in charge of personnel sat at our "conference" table after firing our first GM and other marketing person, spun his iPhone around in circles while telling us we were supposed to "finesse" the people at the lottery.

I may sound a little out of line, but my experience with executives has led me to believe this about executive experience: anyone can do it. If you've got the title, you make the decisions put on your desk.

And if you fuck up, well, there's probably another desperate company out there who will give you a shot. It is, apparently, the American Way.

Matt Worley wonders what makes a guy worth $250,000,000 want to take a job that makes only $400,000 a year. Seems like a step down to me. Not exactly a sound executive decision.