1.15.12
Mixed up
by Matt Worley

You know it's a weird day when your horoscope talks about a business meeting happening TODAY...and today is Sunday. Are you saying that the people who write horoscopes don't take the day of the week into account when writing? Sun, moon, stars, year, date, baby's diapers and entrails, but not the actual day of the week? What business person would have a meeting on a Sunday in the middle of a three-day weekend? How much do you get paid, horoscoper?

Of course, I don't get tomorrow off. But I did get today off. There was a possibility that I might have had to work today. But I can assure you, if I did, I wouldn't have been in a meeting. I would've had productive work to do.

But I don't. So I won't. Productive work will have to wait.

The best game was a crazy arena football thing at the end. And they even managed to get it done in regulation. Then the next game immediately followed and was over in the first few minutes.

The theory is that God can get you to the playoffs, but He isn't gonna just give you the Superbowl.

If you don't like the answer, that doesn't mean you should ignore the answer and go off about everything else that has little or nothing to do with the question.

I am not always a team player. But it's not just me, either.

Indian curry works faster than red chile. But I'm a regular guy.

Don't wear white to the bloody shoot out.

I didn't finish anything except the book. There was food left over. And the watery whiskey was just laughing at me. I was ashamed and wept for my soul.

We shall no longer be exchanging money for merchandise. I will miss the experience. Should we shake hands?

I mean, really. You think I should sacrifice for people who make my life a living hell? That's the definition of a shit job. Like in the dictionary. Under martyr.

The luck of the roadrunner was enough for a Lobo men's win and the end of the Broncos season. But we didn't win the lottery, and the women lost at home. Still, roadrunner luck is pretty good.

Much better than the stupid horoscope.


Matt Worley isn't superstitious.


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