A few minutes before midnight, I turned off all the sounds and TV and everything. A few bangs had already started, but as our synchronized clocks hit midnight, a cacophony of gunshots, fireworks and screaming began.

The new year began loudly in my part of Albuquerque.

One of my neighbors lurched out of his apartment and screamed "Happy New Year" numerous times at the street before his girlfriend came out and told him to come inside. A minute later all the lights were off. The noise died down after about five minutes. And we were left with the infant year of 2012.

The world is going to end this year.

A couple of ways, from a couple of different points of view. And then, of course, there's my personal view that it won't end...which may or may not be depressing depending on how you look at it.

1. The Mayans truly had some connection to the infiniteness of the universe and tapped into the truth of the death of the Earth with their calendar ending in 2012. Of course, if they were this in tune with the infinite, they might have seen the end of their civilization coming, don't you think?

2. President Obama will be reelected, causing lots of stupid bumper stickers ("I still didn't vote for him!"), more runs on guns (which, by the way, kinda proves the point that gun control isn't stemming the tide of idiots buying guns...and we can all get what we want in terms of people killing instruments), and more chances for people to say really stupid things, for which they will lose endorsements and TV gigs.

3. One of the Republican clowns will actually win (which, by the way, means they have to get out of this revolving door of "front runners" which is the death knell to all "front runners" except Romney, who everyone hates so much, he'll probably get the nomination). And we will all weep into our beers, then move into the nearest Occupy tent for some frustration sex.

4. Iran isn't lying and the nuclear apocalypse begins by first blowing up the Middle East, and then spreading like wildfire (okay, nuclear fire) through the rest of the world.

5. Something else I couldn't think of this morning because that fishy smell coming from my kitchen is telling me I really need to get rid of last year's trash.

One of these predictions will actually be right, although I don't think the world will end because of it.

The end of the world is a nice thought, though. Because it gets everyone out of everything. You don't have to plan for retirement. You don't have to have insurance. You don't have to do that project you've been putting off. You don't have to grow up (and, by extension, old). And you don't have to clean...well, after the end anyway. No looking for another job. No saving for the kid's college. You won't have to buy a new car. Or a new TV. Or anything, really, because money won't mean anything anymore.

But there will be survivors, and the question is always: do you want to be one of those? Because then you have to make a lot of new plans and goals and friends and enemies.

It all reeks of effort.

Matt Worley must get glasses because he must get his license renewed because he's turning 40. Like soon.