Five years ago, I performed in a show at the Albuquerque Little Theatre called Ozma of Oz. I still say the reason was because I wasn't cast in Hamlet at another theatre. Backstage of that ALT production, I met a young woman named Maria. We started dating the week after Ozma closed and are now married with a two year old daughter, Donna Rose. I have never worked at the ALT since then. Until now.

Back in December, I auditioned for Sherlock Holmes: The Final Adventure. As always, I was gunning for the big roles of Holmes or Watson. The consolation prize could be Moriarty. I brushed up my British, went off to auditions, and quickly realized those roles were to be cast by much older men. Being the only person to even attempt a decent German accent, I wound up being offered The King of Bohemia. I accepted.

A bizarre side point to auditioning was that my wife said I could do it only on the condition that she could get a Medusa lip piercing. She had been lobbying for the piercing for awhile to my passive rejection, but she masterfully used my theatre addiction to get what she wanted. Now, she sports a shiny stud in the middle of her upper lip, and I am wrapping up my role as the king.

If you don't know the Sherlock Holmes tales (like me), The Scandal in Bohemia is one of the more famous. The king comes to Holmes and asks him to find a photograph for him. It is a loving picture from a former affair with the opera singer Miss Irene Adler. She is threatening to send the picture to the bride's father on the day of the wedding, and so, the king wants the picture back. Off goes Holmes and Watson to retrieve the photograph. The playwright also combined another story into the play, so Moriarty could get in the mix. It is the one where Sherlock Holmes is killed by is nemesis (or is he?).

While Bohemia is non-existent these days, it was basically part of the old nineteen century Germany. My character is the German guy in a British play. Once again, I play the thing that is not like the others. Since the ALT is not a little theatre at all (seating over 400), I amped up my voice to booming for most of my scenes. This is not a big deal normally, but when you add a German accent, it has its degree of difficulty.

In case you're wondering, 'th' becomes 'z' or 'd' in German accents. Also, 'w' becomes 'v' along with other little nuances. Since no one else is talking this way, I'm pretty much on my own with how it sounds. Add the fact that no one has a Bohemian accent, and my mish-mash German accent goes along all right. It still reminds me of the undercover British agent trying to speak German in Inglorious Basterds. The critic praised my acting but called my accent inconsistent. That was much better than he said about other people's accents and performances.

Overall, the show has been acceptable but not amazing. I worked with mostly musical theatre folks trying to act, which is the equivalent of me trying to sing show tunes. On the upside, ALT always has decent houses. While a great play at a black box theatre might have a thousand patrons, Sherlock Holmes will play to around 2000. It's also nice to know I can handle any stage you throw at me.

Today is my last performance, and I should get home in time for three quarters of the Super Bowl. On our Thursday performance this week, the fire alarm went off one minute before the end of the show, due to a the fog machine, causing a massive amount of improv on the part of Watson. That's when I knew it was time to wrap up this play. I doubt I will miss the role much, but I must say that the Mel Brooks saying is true: it's good to be the king.

Chris Jungle still lives the bohemian lifestyle.