Note:
The news brief that I relied upon in writing this column was incorrect. Gov. Brownback did not visit SM East High School; rather, Emma Sullivan visited Topeka, Kan., and the Kansas state government as part of a student program. These corrected facts are interesting, but don't change the point of my column. On the other hand, the news that Gov. Brownback's staff instigated the entire affair by contacting Principal Krawitz completely destroys my contention that Brownback has learned a thing or two about teenagers. But perhaps I wasn't all wet. On Monday, Nov. 28, Brownback apologized to Sullivan. Not the other way around. Maybe that will teach her some manners.

Politicians often visit schools. This is a good thing. Kids need to learn that their elected elders are just as full of crap as their parents. Also, they need to learn that they should respect their elected elders, just like they should respect their parents.

Last week, Kansas Governor Sam Brownback visited Shawnee Mission East High School, which is located in Prairie Village. If you'll allow me a short geographical aside, there is a city named Shawnee, Kan., and a city named Mission, Kan., but no such place as Shawnee Mission, Kan. (though the Post Office begs to differ). There was an old Shawnee Methodist Mission back in the early 1800s, but that was a while back. Anyway, Shawnee Mission East is a few blocks west of the Waldo section of Kansas City, Mo. In Kansas, of course.

So Brownback went to Shawnee Mission East, which is one of those "tough" inner-ring suburban high schools (I'm relying on the Interwebs and a few Kansas City Star articles for the "tough" part, so forgive me if my description is off). I have a feeling that more than a few students had little use for sitting still and listening to a short white guy tell them how they could succeed if they worked hard and played by the rules. To be fair, they probably have little use for listening to a tall black guy do the same thing, but I'm digressing.

One student in particular had little use for Brownback's presentation (whatever it actually might have been), and she pulled out her smart phone and Tweeted her displeasure:

"Just made mean comments at gov. brownback and told him he sucked, in person."

As it turns out, Emma Sullivan didn't make mean comments or tell Brownback he sucked. At least not in person.

Which would have been the end of the story, except that the principal of SM East is threatening to suspend Sullivan unless she writes the Governor an apology.

Okay, let's go over the facts again. Politician takes valuable classroom time away from student. Student tells a lie on Twitter while being forced to sit and listen to said politician say utterly stupid things (all politicians say stupid things to kids; this is a non-partisan fact). Politician isn't harmed by said tweet, and student didn't actually stand up and interrupt the assembly by shouting "You lie!" or something even more colorful.

Win-win, in my book. But the principal, of course, is embarrassed. And like any adult who doesn't know how to react to a novel bit of childish misbehavior, the principal overreacts.

This won't end well for the principal, a certain Karl Krawitz. My guess is that SM East has some sort of policy on the use of cell phones during school, and Sullivan may well be punished for her obvious flouting of those rules. But any attempt to suspend Sullivan for what should be seen as a constitutionally-approved exercise of free speech (even within the confines of a school, where the Supreme Court has decided more than once that the First Amendment doesn't apply) will end up in court for years. Sullivan will have graduated from Harvard and gone on to her dream job as a writer for the Simpsons (in its 30th season!) before any final decision in "Sullivan v. Dumb-Ass Principal" comes down.

Maybe Principal Krawitz isn't a dumbass. I don't know him personally. But threatening to suspend a student for tweeting modestly rude comments about a politician just isn't smart. Principal Krawitz forgot the first rule of parenting: Choose your battles. Could Miss Sullivan have been more judicious in wording her tweet? Sure. But she (apparently) sat quietly while the governor spouted his nonsense (again, I'd say the same thing about a Democrat; all politicians say the dumbest things around kids) and simply goosed up her twit counts with a lying tweet. No harm done, and no apology necessary. No need to bring out the big guns. But he threatened suspension, and now he's got a real public relations nightmare on his hands.

Gov. Brownback, meanwhile, appears to have figured out a thing or two about teenagers: Let them spout off all they want. After all, he's got the keys to the car.

Jon Worley has never insulted a politician to his or her face. He prefers to slander them in columns that no one reads.