My older son is a nine-year-old in an under-11 soccer league. This means that he's playing kids who are taller, heavier and faster than him. Most of the kids on his team are "playing up," which is the technical term for kids who play in a league with older kids. With one game to go, his team is 1-3-3 (one win, three losses and three ties), although it has scored 21 goals and only given up 19 (its win was 8-2).

With the exception of the game they won (against another team "playing up"), My son's team has been physically outclassed. The only reason the team's record has been so respectable is that these kids have outscrapped every other team they've played. Even when down by three goals, they don't give up. Saturday afternoon, My son's team was behind 4-1 as the clock ticked down. My son moved up from his defensive position and simply refused to allow the ball to get back to midfield. He kept bombing passes to his fowards in the box, and just before the final whistle a teammate took one of his passes and stuck it in the net. And trust me, a 4-2 loss is much better than a 4-1 loss. It just is.

On Sunday, his team played a team tied for first place in the league. And almost from the start, the other coach was agitated about something. By the end of the first half, she was yelling things at our players in a language I didn't recognize. As the second half kicked off, she started a sideline ruckus by yelling at our players (in English). "You're dirty players! You're a dirty team." And then she turned and started yelling at our coach.

These aren't rec league games with unprepared referees. These games have paid, experienced adults as referees. If we were playing dirty, we'd be getting creamed by the ref. That wasn't happening. I'm still mystified by her anger, but maybe she was just mad that her first place team couldn't beat our undersized, bottom-of-the-table team. Of course, earlier this season we tied the other team that was in first place as the weekend started, so this result couldn't have been that surprising.

I like watching my kids play sports, in large part because I was always mediocre (at best). My sons are apparently good athletes; they're stars at whatever sport they play. And at times I've felt like yelling at referees. On two occasions in the last seven years I've felt like asking a coach "How can you let that kid play when he does those things?" But even then, I've felt the fault lay with the coach rather than the child. And I've kept my tongue. It's really, really bad for an adult to be yelling at kids unless death is imminent.

More to the point, my wife and I have emphasized to our boys that what happens on the field of play may not be fair. The referee or coach will make mistakes. And if that makes you mad, then channel that anger into playing harder. One of the key lessons of sports, in fact, is that unfairness is everywhere. How you deal with unfairness is how you form your character.

You're gonna lose out on a spot at the college of your choice because Kelsey Gammer's kid applied. You're gonna lose out on a job because of office politics. Some asshole is gonna steal your girlfriend and treat her like crap. And she's gonna like it. And that's just so, so annoying.

Actually, none of those have happened to me, but they're the sort of thing adults have to deal with more often than we like. And sports will help you learn how to do that.

Let's say my son's team does play dirty. And the referee doesn't punish them. How should the opposing coach react? Not by cursing the opposing team or by encouraging parents to yell things like "Kill those dirty players!" That's really not cool. All you have to do is encourage the kids to play they way they play, and to play as hard as they can. If you play your heart out, your heart will get broken as often as not. But it will grow stronger and heal faster with practice. And when tough times come, you'll know that you can deal with them. After all the bad luck, bad calls and bad games, life still goes on.

That's the lesson we try to make sure our kids learn every time they step off the field. That's just one of the important lessons that sports can teach kids.

Jon Worley isn't sure that life will go on for his beloved Missouri Tigers once they start play in the SEC, but he figures he doesn't have any choice but to make the best of it.