My wife is a reporter, and she decided to watch the Republican Presidential Debate last Thursday. She made me watch, too. I did, for the most part (I'll explain that later). And so, despite the entry of Texas governor Rick Perry to the mix (and the exit of Tim Pawlenty from it), I'll offer my thoughts about the then-current Republican field.

I won't be discussing politics all that much. Despite the reams of paper that campaigns still produce in an attempt to define themselves by this position or that, candidates generally don't get elected because of policy. The appearance and stature of a candidate is what tends to get folks elected.

This is why Tim Pawlenty will not be elected president. I actually had to leave the room when he answered questions. It's not just that he looks very weird--broad shoulders and a tiny head, giving him something of a David Byrne-like appearance. That's bad, but his manner of speaking is worse. His eyes dart everywhere, and his voice never seems to settle into an appropriate tone. I simply couldn't watch him. Apparently I wasn't alone in this, as Pawlenty quit the race today.

Michele Bachmann, on the other hand, looked very presidential. She answered every question with cool confidence, and she even managed to be just late enough coming back to her podium after a commercial break to allow for a dramatic entrance midway through the debate. If that wasn't planned, it should have been. Simply brilliant. It doesn't really matter that her espoused policies border on lunacy. She says crazy things with sincere, smiling enthusiasm. She may not have the mental flexibility required to be president, but she looks and acts more presidential than any other GOP candidate.

This includes Mitt Romney, the establishment frontrunner. The man has a serious problem: He sounds just like Brent Musburger. I kept waiting to hear "You are looking live at Iowa State University's Stephens Auditorium" whenever he started to answer a question. It was bad enough to have a president who sounded like an anemic Hank Hill. A Musburger-voiced president might well bring down the republic.

Rick Santorum is simply too weird to take seriously. His face doesn't match his body, and his voice is too milquetoast to inspire anyone. His slavish devotion to a particular sect of social conservatism is the only reason he's even on the radar, and his blip is already fading fast.

On the other hand, Ron Paul has a devoted following--witness the guy who kept shouting "Ron Paul" whenever things got quiet during the debate. Paul is the one candidate whose policies will ensure his defeat in the primary, but his appearance doesn't help, either. He looks at lot like an ugly caricature of Henry Gibson, though I might be thinking that because Paul's answers at the debate sounded a lot like the polemics that Gibson's character in Nashville broadcasted out of his car. Paul is a nut. He knows it, his fans know it and they all love it. Ain't they sweet?

Jon Hunstman is far too jumpy to be president. Pawlenty may be bug-eyed and shifty, but Huntsman's body language and voice resemble something like a squirrel caught in a leg trap. Remember that video of then-Colts coach Jim Mora squarking "Playoffs? You're talking about playoffs?" Huntsman is a little bit jumpier than Mora after fifteen cups of coffee. He's both too sane (in policies) and too weird (in person) to win the nomination.

Herm "The Hermanator" Cain seems unable to answer any question without mangling crib notes from a business school 101 class at the University of Jesus and Money. I always thought I knew where he was going with an answer, but he never seemed to get it out right. Or maybe I was giving him too much credit in the first place.

And then there's everyone's favorite drunk uncle, Newt Gingrich. He stood aside and gave answers grounded in theory rather than reality. But, like all drunk uncles, he did accidentally tell the truth once in a while. His wry observation that a central bank is pretty useful if you actually want to have a monetary policy was the best line of the night. The fact that most of the folks on the stage want to strangle or even kill the Fed gave that line added sparkle.

So now Rick Perry wants to join these whacktoids. Okey dokey. I make no predictions about his possible success--it's way too early for that sort of thing--but if he wants to win all he really needs to do is look and act like a president. That's the biggest problem for the GOP in 2012, and so fay Perry's arrival doesn't change that.

Gosh, the election is only 14 1/2 months away. I can't wait.

Jon Worley used to be amused by crazy politicians. That was before he realized that most were acting crazy just to get attention from the cameras. That's just sad.