Back when I was ten, I was a brat (still am, if you ask some people). On that fateful Christmas Eve, I had gone through as much Christmas cheer as I could muster. My brothers and I knew the Muppet Movie was coming on TV that night, but after the Christmas Eve service, my folks wanted to look at Christmas lights. Being the brat that I was, I nagged about wanting to watch the Muppet Movie, over & over & over again. So much that my mom snapped and canceled Christmas. No Muppet Movie, no Christmas Eve gifts, no Santa gifts Christmas morning. I had ruined Christmas, and it would never be very dear to my heart again.

Now I sit here in my Grinch sweatshirt (which my mom gave me one year), and I realize I still don't like the holiday that much. It's more than a little overblown, overpriced, overhyped and overdone. If the holiday season lasted about a week, I would probably be cool with it. As we all know, that's not how Christmas works.

This year, it seems many other things are helping with my sour holiday mood:

Apparently, the powers that be interpreted the anger of the mid-term elections to mean tax cuts for the rich. I don't know why compromise means helping those who have the means to pay more, but so it goes. Merry Christmas, millionaires!

My hard luck baseball team, the Kansas City Royals, traded away their Cy Young pitcher to the Milwaukee Brewers for prospects. I don't know any baseball team that improves by trading away its best pitcher. Ask the Cleveland Indians if they would like C.C. Sabathia and Cliff Lee back in town. I think this may be the year I finally quit caring about those lovable losers. The Colorado Rockies are starting to appeal to me. Merry Christmas, Milwaukee!

North & South Korea are still on the brink of war, the United States is still fighting in Afghanistan, and car bombs still explode all over the world. When was the last time a war made things better? We're still fighting in the same places that people have been fighting since World War II. Peace on Earth and good will to whom?

I go to theatre most months of the year, but I have taken a break for the last few weeks. Why? Everyone is doing Christmas plays. "The Santaland Diaries," "A Christmas Carol," "Jacob Marley's Christmas Carol," "White Christmas." During the month of October, there was only one Halloween-esque play in town, and it wasn't very good. I did go see it though and didn't complain. One Halloween play versus a half dozen Christmas plays? It's the disparity that bothers me.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not a Grinch or Scrooge when it comes to Christmas. I don't try to fight it or stop it from coming. I just do my duties, buy gifts for the family, and try not piss anyone off. I would still rather watch The Muppet Movie than look at Christmas lights. I'm still a brat, but I try to keep it to myself these days.

Who knows? I've still got a week to get in the mood. In fact, I wish the season started right now and ended on Saturday. That's it! My heart can grow three times today! Let's trim the tree, go caroling, toast the holiday, and thank Jesus Christ for being the reason for the season! What do you say, everybody?

Everybody? Somebody? Anybody?

Wow, maybe I'm not the only one who does this Christmas thing out of obligation.

And now out of obligatory duty, I would like to wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas.

Chris Jungle has been accused of ruining several holidays during his life.