Would you prefer people looking at your private parts but not touching, or people touching your private parts but not looking?

Either way, you will be violated.

Of course, when you go to rock concerts or night clubs, the same thing happens. No one raises a stink. Big burly guys touch your junk and push you inside. Nobody complains because everyone wants to get inside.

Now the same treatment is given to air travelers. All in the name of safety.

There were threats of protests, pleads by security not to protest, and in the end, not much protesting. Only in America.

The old days are gone. No more hurdling over people OJ style to catch the plane. No more silly meals. No more smoking in the back (although all the planes still have those lights). No more cute stewardesses. I think they're the same ones who were cute a long time ago.

We will profile. All Mohammeds will be booted off the plane without question. All Somalis will also be left behind. We'll still fondle everyone, but we know who we're after. Compliance means a boarding pass!

I fly once a year, maybe. At that time, I learn all the new rules and regulations that I've missed. I figured out the shoe removal thing pretty quickly. I lost my toothpaste before I discovered the liquid rule. Now, I have to decide whether they should look at my penis or touch my penis. I'm just trying to fly to my relatives!

Let's face it, air travel is lame. In almost every sense. They charge you for anything they can, and you can still end up stuck on the runway for hours on end.

It was nine years ago when terrorists blew up some planes. It took us all by surprise. Those terrorists are tricky. Did we find them? Nope. We invaded Iraq and Afghanistan. We're still in Afghanistan. Longer than the Soviets were. We can't leave, and we don't know why.

How did the actions of nine years ago lead to looking at air travelers' naked bodies on a screen today? One big slippery slope.

Freedom isn't free, they say. I truly believe you can't even pay for it anymore. They still want to know what's in your underwear. Everything we took for granted ten years ago is now gone. So is our economy. So is our dignity.

So there.

Chris Jungle stayed in town for Thanksgiving.