So there's this hole. In a pipe. A mile below the surface. Shooting oil into the Gulf of Mexico. No one knows how to stop it.

No one knows.

How is it that we know how to stick a pipe into the ocean floor, but we don't know how to fix it?

Everyone's answer: It's not that simple.

Of course, I didn't ask if it was simple. I asked why don't we know how to fix it.

It's not that simple.

So we have engineers, right? Kids study for years to learn all the math & physics & formulas to become engineers & architects & the future leaders of the free world. We have all the people who have been engineers on-the-job for decades. Real life experience and all that.

The latest answer: The well will probably leak until mid-August until relief wells are built.

Relief wells? Does that sound any better than a Top Kill?

What's a Top Kill? That's throwing a bunch of junk in the hole to see if it will clog it.

Again, these are the top minds in the country coming up with this.

Remember the Exxon Valdez? Sort of. That was a drunk captain running into an iceberg, and the oil spilled all over Alaska.

Remember There Will Be Blood? Sort of. That was an oil man buying land out from under crazy Christians in order to monopolize a bevy of oil supply in the desert.

Have you ever met oil men? They seem to a thin film of evil all over them.

Has anyone ever understood the rise and fall of gasoline prices in the United States?

This oil business is an ugly dirty business.

If Iraq had no oil, would we have even cared enough about them to occupy their country for the last eight years?

If we could just figure out something other than petroleum-based gasoline to run our cars, would we be in better harmony with the world?

When my lips get chapped, I put on Vaseline. It works. It moistens my lips. Am I addicted to oil?

Are you addicted to oil?

It seems like we're stuck in a hole. A big hole that spews out hundreds of thousands of gallons of oil into the ocean, and we don't even get to use it.

And what is the answer? It's not that simple.

I guess it isn't that simple.

I guess we really don't know what we're doing.

I guess we're too simple.

I guess.

Chris Jungle is not fond of complex people or their holes.