After last year's disastrous "Depends presents The Who!" Super Bowl halftime show, it was a no-brainer that someone under the age of 50 would headline the event.

As Jay-Z and Beyonce are apparently otherwise occupied, the producers went with the next most obvious choice: The Black Eyed Peas.

Never mind that the Peas are a studio act with a famously lame live show. That actually might work well in the Super Bowl, where none of the sounds are live and the entire shindig is produced well past the limits of coherence.

This isn't how it used to be. The first Super Bowl featured bands from Grambling State and the University of Arizona, the Anaheim High School drill team and Al Hirt.

Al Hirt!

Old school, to be sure, but probably pretty good. And that formula worked well enough for the first few Super Bowls. Then things got a little repetitious. Through the 70s and 80s, Up with People showed up four times. Gloria Estefan and/or the Miami Sound Machine did their things three times in the 90s. And then dinosaur rock ruled the oughts.

Aerosmith appeared with Britney Spears and a cast of thousands in 2001. The only real problem with that show was that Steven Tyler didn't break into "Jailbait" when Spears stepped out of the flying saucer. Of course, that song appeared on the one album that featured Jimmy Crespo and Rick Dufay on guitars, which probably still pisses off Joe Perry.

Then came U2 and the tribute to 9/11 in 2002 and No Doubt, Sting and longtime Def Leppard producer Mutt Lange's then-wife starred in 2003.

2004 was a breath of fresh air...on Janet Jackson's right nipple. Oops! Our bad! Back to the old guys.

Paul McCartney. The Rolling Stones. Prince. Tom Petty. Bruce Springsteen. And then Pete Townshend, Roger Daltrey and a bunch of guys who were never in the Who.

Yes, Prince's show was awesome. He was great--he might even have been singing and playing live--and it was raining. Purple freakin' Rain, Batman!

But the rest? Eh. And the Who? The Super Bowl was supposed to kick off their 2010 concert season. Did the Who come to your town? Nope. Anyone who saw the Super Bowl could see that Daltrey and Townshend are, indeed, old. I'm not saying they should've died, but they're too old to be rocking anything other than chairs.

So we get the Black Eyed Peas in February. The show will undoubtedly start off with the repurposed "Let's Get Retarded," now known to anyone who has been within earshot of a sporting event at any point in the last seven years as "Let's Get It Started." Never mind the (sorta) politically incorrect title, the original version would be a fine way to kick off twelve minutes of useless amusement. There will be thumping beats, lots of lights and just enough booty-shaking to wake up Grandpa--but not so much as to give him a heart attack.

Oh yeah. That's why they didn't go after Beyonce and Jay-Z. Don't want to kill off all the baby boomer men at once. CBS would go out of business.

So what does the future hold? The only 60s acts that are still active and jaunty enough to hold an audience's attention would be a Brian Wilson-fronted Beach Boys and Creedence Clearwater Revival.

And let me be clear: John Fogerty minus the original CCR rhythm section equals snooze. And the Beach Boys minus Brian Wilson plus John Stamos equals yeaaaargh! Not to mention the "will he or won't he" question with Wilson that would provide some sincere suspense for the show itself.

But the 60s have been pretty much mined out. And the 70s are pretty dry as well. I suppose another Led Zeppelin reunion (with Jason Bonham on drums...again) could be okay, and Van Halen can still put on a decent show. Oh, and Kiss is still alive and spitting. After that? Um....

The Eagles? Too dull. Garth Brooks? Maybe. The only 80s band I can see with enough star power and fan base would be Bon Jovi. If there's a place for mild-mannered sorta-hard rock morphing into mild-mannered sorta-hard country music, it's gotta be the Super Bowl.

Still, I'm holding out for Jay-Z and Beyonce. And skip the official collaborations ("duets" would be the wrong word). Just freestyle a bit through the ample catalogs of each. No extra dancers, no light shows that eat more electricity than the population of Jacksonville. Just two people, a booming sound system (I suppose it is too much to ask for a band) and some good times. Nah, it won't look so good in the stadium, but who cares? This is a made-for-TV show.

Oh well. Another year. And even though that sentiment has yet to work for my beloved Chiefs, someday it has to come true.

But sometime soon, please. 2025 will not be the year to go big pimpin'. I'm just saying.

Jon Worley kinda liked Neil Young closing down the Olympics, but he knows that his opinion is decidedly in the minority.