Two years ago, the Democrats won a huge victory, taking both the presidency and controlling historically large majorities in both houses of Congress.

Last night, the Missouri Tigers beat a top-ranked football team for the first time in school history.

And while I think it's safe to say that Missouri is one of the most conservative campuses among the great midwestern universities, the Democrats and Missouri fans have one thing in common: They don't know how to enjoy success.

Three years ago, Missouri whomped Kansas and claimed the #1 ranking. The next week, my beloved Tigers laid an egg and got whacked by Oklahoma in the Big 12 championship game. The galling thing is that every single Missouri fan fully expected M.U. to lose to the Sooners. I hoped they wouldn't lose, but in my heart of hearts I knew that they would.

Democrats seem unable to believe that the people actually share their ideals. And so they argue and squabble and obstinately refuse to explain why their policies are, in fact, huge improvements over the bad old G.O.P. days. And so the people are willing to listen to Republicans--largely because Republicans act successful, even if they aren't.

A recent poll showed that folks couldn't decide if Barack Obama or George W. Bush was a better president. This is entirely a problem of communication, not substance.

The problem facing the Democrats is not that they "overreached" during Obama's first year-and-a-half. The problem is that the Democrats didn't do things like stand up and say, "Damn right we passed a health care bill. It's the best thing we've done in at least 30 years." Rather, there were a few tepid celebrations and almost immediate hand-wringing over the coming elections.

That's a pure Democrat move.

Missouri fans have suffered longer than Cubs fans. I mean, the Cubs have won the World Series. Twice. It's just been a while. Missouri teams have been competing since the late 1800s, and only two have won a national title: The 1954 baseball team and the 1965 men's indoor track team.

That's a pretty sad record, one almost unmatched among major state schools. There are scads of NCAA-sanctioned sports, and Missouri tends to be thoroughly mediocre at every one. Even our good teams, like softball, fall flat on the big stage. The Tigers' softball team made the Women's College World Series last spring. Then it promptly lost both of its games and went home.

That's a pure Missouri move.

Republicans go out and crow about their "political capital." Even when their policies are utterly disastrous, they are able through sheer bluster to raise popular support for their ideas. The tea party folks want the budget balanced, but they also want to keep the Bush tax cuts--which are one of the two big reasons the budget is so in arrears.

The other reason, of course, is the continuing spending on military action in Iraq, Afghanistan and (don't tell anyone) Pakistan. Actions which, of course, were launched by a Republican president and a Republican Congress.

The continuing recession is largely the result of a massive retrenchment in venture capital spending, but the removal of regulations implemented after the Great Depression contributed to the financial meltdown which continues today. Both Democrats and Republicans can take credit for these mistakes, but Republicans are the ones calling for even more deregulation.

In my district, the Republican in the race is running on a platform of replacing the local electric company. Never mind that this is a state issue, not a federal one. Republican-led deregulation has led to massive rate increases over the last few years, and with much less oversight the company has slacked on maintenance. So our power costs twice as much and it goes out whenever a robin coughs on a line. The Republican solution? Fire Pepco.

That's a pure Republican move. Such a combination of lies and bluster won't work in my district, which is overwhelmingly Democratic. But it's certainly emblematic of the Republican style, and such tactics tend to work.

Next week, Missouri travels to Nebraska for the most important game of the season. If the Tigers win, they will essentially sew up the Big 12 North. If they win, they will undo more than a century's worth of futility in "really" big games. They will put themselves in position for a few more "big" games, including a possible berth in the (aaargh, I hate to write this) BCS National Championship Game.

In little more than a week, folks will vote. The Democrats will lose big. That's okay. Over the next two years, the Republicans will tear themselves to pieces trying to figure out exactly what their party stands for these days. The Democrats need only to stand up for their beliefs and explain that "the people" are better off when the government takes care of a few things.

Here's to hoping the Tigers and the Democrats change their stripes. Of course, as a longtime fan of both, I don't hold out much hope. But even a little hope is better than none.

Jon Worley would like to send some love out to Jimmy McMillan and The Rent Is Too Damn High party.