I can't believe they are letting the President speak directly to school children.

Y'know, our impressionable, soft-headed, completely open to authority kids who do exactly what anyone in charge tells them to do.

He might tell those kids to stay in school (socialism!), get good grades (indoctrination!) and go to college (more socialism!). And they might listen to him!

Just like we all listened to Nancy Reagan when she told us to "Just Say No!"

Just like they listen to everything their parents tell them and are little angels all the time.

Just like they would never text when driving or have alcoholic beverages before they turn 21 or smoke the mary J wanna EVER! Because we've all told them how bad these behaviors are. And they certainly listen to us.

Because our kids are so obedient they will listen to anyone who gives them advice.

We cannot allow the President (who does he think he is anyway?) to talk directly to our children!

So what is it the kids'll do if they "opt out" of the speech? Oh, independent study? You mean nothing? Gee, that sounds good. I'm glad we're getting the most from our government run education system.

This is about as good as not fixing health care because that might take money away from insurance companies.

Because we all love our insurance companies. LOVE THEM!

Here's what I'd settle for in this fight I really have no part of. Y'know, this evil plan to completely change our great American way of life.

Free health care.
No insurance companies.
Decriminalize the wacky weed.
Stop the stupid ass wars we keep fighting because we COULD win. (And what is it we win? It's not like these are great places to go on vacation.)
Weddings for everyone so in love they want to have one.
Free condoms on Columbus Day.
Free turkeys on Thanksgiving.
Free candy canes on Christmas.
And euthanasia for the criminally stupid.

Okay, maybe not the last one. I mean, that sounds like we'd have to set up a dreaded Death Panel or something. And killing off all the stupid people would really kill our economy. We do need them to keep spending 125% of their take home money.

But on this lovely Labor Day weekend (when a lot of laborers still work because they get time and a half), I have to say I'm not going to fight very hard for any of this. I will not labor. I won't hold up signs that say "honk if you're high!"

Nope. I'm just gonna pop open some wine. Crank up the grill. Sing "One" while my niece practices kicking out her legs to walk. And sleep in Monday morning as long as I can.

Sometimes you gotta love the simple stuff.

Matt Worley remembers thinking politicians and parents and cops were full of shit when he was in grade school. But then maybe someone put those evil thoughts in his head.