The first thing customer service will probably tell you is to restart.

What do we do when the computer freezes? Restart. Turn a machine on and it sounds funny? Turn it off and then turn it on again. See if it does the same thing. The monitor doesn't come on, restart everything.

A common definition of craziness is doing the same thing again and again and expecting a different result.

If you change something, something different should happen. Which, in turn, should turn a few more things in a slightly different direction. And, hopefully, all of these little differences will make something change in a good way. Of course, it could all go to shit.

Does everyone remember Back To The Future? It took three movies to not really fix everything that got changed by Marty McFly and the Delorean.

I still see "Send Me Your Gold, Bitches!" commercials on TV. Or ads for the stock picking programs that promise to help you "never leave money on the table." The commercials for oil and gas companies that imply they are trying to "find" new ways of generating energy...but really are just reinforcing the idea of consuming oil and gasoline. Don't cut back, do what you're doing and something different will eventually come along. Trust us.

I have a pile of gold sitting in front of me. My hands are sifting through it. It's worth money. It might be worth more money in the future. Isn't gold pretty? Buy my gold at inflated prices and someday it might make you money, too.

Y'know, if that gold was really going to double or triple in price, why would they sell it to you now?

We're still pipe dreaming.

There are days when I know I'm going to win the lottery. And I CAN'T win the lottery. I am actually forbidden from playing the lottery. At least in this state.

There are nights when I know I shouldn't have that last drink. But I do anyway.

This time it's going to be different. Even though every other time it ends up the same.

What happened with cannibals that they decided to stop eating each other and started hunting other animals? I'm thinking they didn't become vegetarians.

And you know after the cannibals decided to change their ways, there were a few of them who were found face deep in a friend's leg bone just chomping away. They look up from the gore, spears ringing their head, and wonder aloud, "What?"

I hear people say, "I thought everything was going to change. They told us it would be different."

But most of us haven't changed at all. We haven't done anything different in the last few months from what we did last year. And we're still pissed about stuff that happened a while back. Of course, there's a lot to change. A lot to clean up. And sometimes it gets kinda discouraging.

I just vacuumed, and the carpet is dirty again. I thought we were going to get new dirt resistant carpets in the future. The dirt will just hover above everything, and we'll just herd it into the trash can.

Britney Spears doesn't even try to sing on her new concert tour. Is that a change? And why would anyone be outraged by this? Maybe it should just be renamed "Britney's Exhibition of Dance Moves You Wouldn't Try Unless You're Really Drunk and Horny." But that's probably too big for a t-shirt designed to show off your navel.

Most days the change I want is that the alarm won't go off. I won't have to go in to work. And yet, I'll still get paid. But the alarm goes off, I take a shower and gripe at all the crazy drivers swirling in front of me on the way to work. Just like the day before. And the day before that. And the days before all this change. Same as it ever was.

Matt Worley wonders why musical chairs hasn't become a game show.