1. I thought the haircut would make me look older.
2. Facebook wall writings are the new birthday card.
3. Relatives donıt send money anymore.
4. I was really worried six months ago that I was truly turning into Uncle Steve. And then Uncle Steve stayed with me for almost two weeks, and I was relieved to know that Iım not. I donıt think youıre allowed to hit on the waitresses if you donıt pay the tab.
5. Having your birthday on Super Bowl Sunday is kinda like having your birthday on St. Patrickıs Day. Everyone is getting drunk and thinks itıs their birthday.
6. My clothes are showing their age.
7. Friday night my band shot up to Santa Fe at 80 mph to play a gig around midnight. I guess thatıs why weıre called Full Speed Veronica now.
8. The last episodes of "Battlestar Galactica" have been fucking amazing.
9. The techs at work call me Matthew Perry.
10. My boss calls me Ringo.
11. I almost hit a more beat up version of my own car yesterday. There were extenuating circumstances. Something about the Chinese New Year.
12. None of the people who checked my ID yesterday realized today was my birthday. And yet Iım carded everywhere.
13. Today is Big Boiıs birthday, too.
14. Somehow whiskey kept filling my glass last night. And I was the only one around.
15. I thought thirty-seven thoughts would be easy. Man, Iım getting old. And Iıve got a potty mouth.
16. Itıs Willyıs Dadıs birthday, too.
17. Iım thinking Pittsburgh.
18. As usual, I turned a year older in my head around the New Year. This way I can freak out (which I did in early January), decide to change something (cut my hair) and be kinda confused when the actual birthday comes up because Iıd already forgotten I was still 36 up until yesterday.
19. I have overcome most of my food phobias. But hereıs a strange one: I donıt like pickles, but I like cucumbers.
20. My nephews and niece are better looking than me.
21. I had a conversation explaining to someone that Duran Duran was, at one time, just huge.
22. It really is all about me.
23. I donıt recognize most of the people I went to high school with from their Facebook pictures.
24. And my 20 year reunion is this year.
25. Natalie Wood was really hot before I was born.
26. I was born in a Year of the Rat. Yıknow, Nixon was reelected.
27. I donıt get why The Dark Knight wasnıt nominated for Best Picture. Wasnıt Obama elected President because he was gonna change the status quo?
28. We played ³Motorcycle² great at the El Paseo, and I nailed the kick it in part. But I completely fucked up ³Divorce Song.²
29. Four albums in and everyone loves Kings Of Leon now. Iım so hip.
30. I never remember when anyone elseıs birthday is, but this doesnıt stop other people from remembering mine. Iım such a self-centered prick.
31. Thereıs nothing like an almost two-week long house guest to make you think a two-bedroom apartment is too small for one person.
32. If you actually remember the mid-90s, then you werenıt living it.
33. What does it say about you that more than one person has given you a voodoo doll as a present?
34. And what is the Rock Nı Roll Hall of Fame anyway?
35. I secretly love the Pirates of the Caribbean Trilogy. All three of them. Fo reals.
36. Someday Iım gonna be a real boy.
37 is a prime number.

Matt Worley did not write this list in any particular order. Except the last one.