My fiancee and I are at odds...again. We have been seeing each other for over three years, lived with each other for a year and a half, and have been raising our daughter together for over a year, and still, we find ways to upset the other person.

It should have been a pleasant Saturday night. Our daughter was staying overnight with her Grandma, and we had two going-away parties to attend. Socialization with no kid in tow, like regular grown ups.

The first party had a Hawaiian theme. The couple is moving to Hawaii because...well, I guess, just because. I wore an exploding blue shirt, and my fiancee wore a vintage 60s lime green dress that a friend of her Mom's gave her. We were appropriately loud. We ate, we drank, we chatted with folks.

I've known the woman of the Hawaiian-bound couple for about a decade. I knew her with her first husband, when they would throw warm weather brunches on a regular basis. They went to live in San Diego for awhile and came back to Albuquerque. They ended up getting divorced, and I saw both of them much less.

Her mother asked me how I knew her daughter. I didn't know what to say. I knew her from the other guy, but I ended up saying I'd known her for a while. What do you say? Usually the less the better.

Let me give you an example. My fiancee were sitting in the corner of the backyard toward the end of the Hawaiian party, watching tweeners do tricks on a trampoline. We start cracking jokes about picking out partners, and I said the line 'Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.' I didn't think it was much more than a bad punch line to a silly conversation, but apparently, it offended my fiancee immensely as she splashed my propped up legs with much of the Corona she had left. This is the reason we are at odds.

I know I say some off-the-cuff remarks, and I'm always willing to admit when I've said one line too many. Getting doused with beer, having utensils thrown at me or getting smacked is not my idea of an appropriate response. I can't think of any verbal faux pas that merited any sort of physical response.

My fiancee sees things differently, of course. I hurt her feelings, she hurt mine. So we're even, right? I guess we're even because we're still upset with each other.

The kicker was that this occurred at the first party. We still had another party to attend! With my beer stained legs, I drove us to the next party to see off another couple moving to Chicago. Why? Because they are bored in Albuquerque. As I always say, this town it what you make of it, not vice versa.

I knew the woman because I cast her as the lead in a play I directed a couple years ago. She ended up helping to get my fiancee a job at Dillard's as they were both into make up. Through her, we met her fiancee (they are now married), and went to a couple parties at their place over the last few months. Usually to play Rock Band. A strange activity, but any time spent with "grown ups" without the baby is usually a good time.

With dried beer on my legs and hurt feelings in my lady, we arrived at the second party. I went for the whiskey, she went for the vodka. I heard conversations about "farming" on facebook and how their pets are like people. It's funny because sometimes I feel my daughter is like a pet. I didn't say that because I didn't want vodka on me as well. I never know what line will cause objects to be thrown at me.

On the upside, I split a bowl and had a good chat with the actress leaving town, and we met a lady who wants to help plan our wedding. No more objects were thrown, and we made it home without further incident.

This morning, the same bad feelings linger. How could I say something so insensitive? How could she splash beer on me in public? I hurt her feelings. There is still dried beer on my legs. We aren't leaving town. We are still getting married next year. We are stuck together forever. It just sucks that this stupid stuff keeps happening.

If you keep living with someone and are honest with each other, all of your bad traits come out eventually. Then, you wake up on Sunday morning and wonder what to write about other than the lousy thing that happened last night.

And you realize that's the only thing worth writing about.

Chris Jungle will take a shower today.