Okay, so I took three weeks off from writing columns. Did anyone even notice? Probably not, but it's time to play catch up.

Three weeks ago, I was acting on stage for the first time in a year. I played Nathan the Nose in a short play called Just One Thing. Nathan was a geek lost in the desert with two actors dressed in dadaist costumes of a big eye, lips and nose. Hilarity ensued. We did five performances in four days, including two on Father's Day. Audiences approved.

Speaking of Father's Day, I had my first one as a father. My fiance bought me an Oscar the Grouch T-shirt and took me to breakfast. Acting twice in one day was my present to myself. My baby girl gave me an unprovoked smooch at the end of the night. I'm going to be a daddy for the rest of my life.

Ed McMahon died. He had been dying for awhile. Once Johnny Carson went, what was a sidekick to do but follow?

Farrah Fawcett died. She had been dying for awhile. I was a little too young to remember Charlie's Angels and the famous poster. She always seemed nice and pretty.

Michael Jackson died. He's been dying for awhile. I was one of many obsessed with Thriller, and Bad was a pretty good album as well. Then, the 90s came, and he became Jacko. All of your pop gods will embarrass your devotion eventually. Peter Pan finally took him to Never Neverland where he can be a boy forever.

Billy Mays died. He was the screaming spokesperson for Oxyclean. He was very annoying and I'm glad to be rid of his commercials. I knew nothing about the man.

Steve McNair died. His Persian girlfriend shot him in his sleep and then killed herself. He was 36 and had four kids and a wife. How do you find time for another lover? The only thing I really learned is not to have affairs with Persian women.

After the death count, my family traveled to Kansas to visit my Grandmother who is 93. I spent 35th birthday with her. She had two white cakes made for me and I ate a piece and a half with ice cream. She asked me why I didn't eat more. Later in the visit, she told me I should watch my weight which has been the same for the past five years. Mixed messages from good ol' G-ma.

Hey, I'm 35! This means I meet the minimum requirements to run for president. I would like to announce my candidacy. I have no political affiliation, no budget or staff, and no public service experience. I am as qualified as anyone. If all the people who don't vote but are eligible wrote in Chris Jungle, I would win in a landslide.

On to Kansas City, MO. I had a gig to play Jesse James at the Kansas City Public Library for their Meet the Past series. I got wore a couple six shooters and a cowboy hat and entertained about 280 folks. At least 200 gave me a standing ovation at the end. It was a very different role from Nathan the Nose, and it was taped for local public television. Truly, it was one for the highlights of my acting days.

The rest of the time in Kansas City was spent with entire immediate family, including the two other SUIT columnists and kin. There was a Royals game (which they lost), strolling around the Plaza, BBQ lunch from Bryant's, and general good feelings all around. It's as much as could ask for of any family vacation.

On July 4th, I traveled through four states. Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas and New Mexico. The American Heartland. I may have been born in Kansas, but my heart lies in the high desert of New Mexico.

I watched the epic fifth set of the finals at Wimbledon between Roger Federer and Andy Roddick. Federer won and now holds the record for most grand slam titles. I think it's easy to say he's the best tennis player in my lifetime.

I've been waking up in the mornings with an aching stiff back for a week now. Did I mention I turned 35?

The heat overtook Albuquerque with continual days in the high 90s and licking 100. My fiance demanded another cooler be purchased. I protested stating that the heat would not last much longer. We battled. I lost. We now have a small window cooler for our daughter's room. It is cooler in there now, and no one complains.

Yesterday, I moved in a vintage couch that my fiance's mom bought for us. This meant rearranging the whole front room, moving an old sofa to my brother's house, loading his old sofa and a box spring at my cousin's place (using her truck), hauling it to a dump we could not find, and ultimately leaving it at a big empty business south of town near their recycling dumpster. I'm sure they will be curious to why an old sofa and box spring are on their property.

I shaved my goatee down to a mustache after the sofa move because my fiance wondered what I would look like with one. It turns out I look like a 70s porn star. We'll see how long it lasts.

If there's anything you should learn from this week's column, it's that nothing lasts forever.

Chris Jungle promises to write a column next week too.