It's pretty much a foregone conclusion that the Los Angeles Lakes will win the NBA Finals. They may have finished off the Orlando Magic by the time you read this. Kobe Bryant will have his first championship since the Shaq fall out of a few years ago, and Phil Jackson will be synonymous with Red Auerbach and the coaching greats. There is an under-looked winner to this whole professional basketball event, and that is Disney.

We all know Disneyland is in Los Angeles and Disneyworld is in Orlando. People could literally go to Disney parks during the day and attend the NBA Finals at night. It's a pricey adventure in this fragile economic times, but even if you don't leave the comforts of your own home to watch the Finals, Disney still has your number.

The NBA Finals are shown on ABC (which Disney owns). If you merely want to watch the highlights, you pop over to ESPN (which Disney also owns). If you root for LA, Disney is on your side. If you root for Orlando, Disney also approves. If you have any opinion about this basketball stuff, Disney is involved.

Even if you don't like basketball, you know Disney is part of your life. Talk to almost any parent, and they say they allow their kids to watch the Disney Channel. Why? Because Disney is safe, and families like to be safe. Every time an animated Disney movie comes out (the latest being Up), it is instantly the top grossing movie of the week. They have Hannah Montana and the Jonas Brothers. A few years ago, they had Britney Spears & Justin Timberlake & Christina Aguilera & Lindsay Lohan. They own your tweens' and teeny boppers' attention. The whole princess concept has been done and redone by Disney since the 1940s.

Look in your video and DVD collection. There's probably a Disney film. Every child goes to either Disneyworld or Disneyland in their life. Sometimes both. Sometimes multiple times. My parents still go to them.

I went to Disneyworld once when I was three. I don't really remember it, but I remember the seven dwarves squeaky toys that were purchased, and a vague memory of staying with relatives in Florida. I've been to Disneyland at least twice. Space Mountain and the Matterhorn are still the best rides as far as I know. I watched the Disney Channel as a kid for the cartoons. I had a special appreciation for Donald Duck Presents and Goofy stories when he's imitating a human. After all these years, we're still not sure what Goofy is.

The funny thing is I'm not a big fan of Disney anymore. I espoused the 'I'm all grown up now' attitude somewhere after "Aladdin" came out. These days, I enjoy watching South Park make fun of Disney much more than watching Disney entertainment. And yet...

Disney entertainment is everywhere. I do watch the NBA Finals. I do watch ESPN. I couldn't escape Disney if I wanted to. My daughter is ten months old now. It's only a matter of time before Disney enters her life. She will be a princess, you know, and there's nothing I can (or should) do about it.

Bukowski always said the Disneyfication of America is a big reason for our ultra rosey picture of ourselves. I tend to agree. Everyone is so intent on this 'Happily Ever After' ending that it's hard to find movies or any visual entertainment story that doesn't go that way. No more Casablanca. Bogart and Bergman would be together at the end if written today.

On the other hand, I'm not a Disney hater (anymore). Disney has their formula just like Shakespeare had his formula. If people want to drop seventy-five bucks a pop to go to their parks, who am I to chastise? I would rather buy wine with that money, so I can't say I have a better plan to blow my cash.

I just can't believe Disney won the entire NBA Finals. Did they bribe the Cleveland Cavaliers to tank against Orlando? Did LaBron James get paid off by Mickey Mouse? Or does Disney just have a piece of so many things that it was inevitable for a monopolized series to occur? Conspiracy theorists, start your engines!

So the Lakers will win, but Disney wins BIG. The mouse is smiling, and nobody has said 'boo' about it. Probably because Disney owns all the mouths that talk about basketball. Weird. I don't know if it's a bad thing, but it's definitely weird. Maybe Big Brother is named Mickey. Maybe the man upstairs is named Walt. Maybe it's just basketball, and it's over until next season.

If those Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim (stupid name) win the World Series this year, I'll be convinced that Disney owns professional sports--even if it no longer owns the Angels.

Chris Jungle's father portrays Walt Disney for Chautauqua talks. The mouse is everywhere!