There's going to be a party on April 15, and it's not even by the IRS. Residents in many cities, including mine, are going to have an event to protest the paying of taxes. They promise it will be positive, non-partisan event to say NO to the stimulus package and rampant spending in Washington D.C. I think we can guess which non-partisan party came up with this idea. Nevertheless, they will have their party, and much like the millions who peacefully protested around the world before the invasion of Iraq, they will be ignored. God Bless America.

I have never been fond of taxes. It just seemed like one of those necessary evils that took money out of my paychecks. Now, I am an independent contractor who drives a Yellow Cab. I am my own boss. I am my only employee. No matter what I do, I have to pay the self employment tax every year. The only question I have is 'Why do self employed people who make less than $100,000 have to pay more than 15 percent of their income while those who make more than that only pay 2.9 percent." Make more, pay less? Who came up with that one? Trust me, if I could make a hundred grand a year driving a taxi, I would. But I can't, so Uncle Sam gets a measly check from me every year not worth two days of some federal employee's salary.

I have never been one to complain about what they do with my taxes. I never tell cops 'My taxes pay your salary!' It just seems stupid. They can still beat me if they want. This No-Taxes-Tea-Party-Who-Ha reeks of the more well off people complaining because the government takes a diamond from their crown every year. Most of us working class folks just find a way to pay as little as possible because we don't have the loopholes that the rich do. Everyone knows the middle class pays much more in taxes than the rich because the rich have ways of getting around paying what they should.

And what do I get for my taxes? Roads, libraries, police, fire departments, token help for the poor. Whatever. For the next 8 months, I won't care about income tax or government programs at all. I will be trying to make income, and that's hard enough.

Truth be told, I wouldn't mind an overhaul of the whole system. Who said it had to be this way? The forefathers didn't want to pay taxes to England without representation. We don't want to pay taxes when the wrong political party is in power. 'They'll just use it to line their own pockets,' 'they'll spend it on war,' or ''they'll spend it on socialism.' Again, whatever. Give to Caesar what is Caesar's. Who said that? Oh yeah, I remember.

I'm down for going back to the frontier ways of making a place in the middle of nowhere where no one can find you to pay anything. Make no money, pay no money. Live off the land. Raise chickens and blah, blah, blah. It just doesn't work that way any more. Space truly is the final frontier, and our space program is far from ready to start living on the moon. Of course, then there would be a moon tax.

Come to think of it, we get taxed on most things anyway. Tax on booze, tax on smoke, tax on luxury items, tax on the use of the hospital. Whatever we buy, whatever we use, there's an extra kick down for the tax. Where does it go? I don't rightly know.

Trillion dollar deficits? I don't even know what that means. I make greenback dollars, and I pay in greenback dollars. By the way, has anyone noticed that the money is not very green anymore?

I am not running this show. I will not attend No Tax parties. I did not cause the recession. I don't profit from the stimulus. I don't have any benefits. I don't make a ton of money. I don't pay a lot of taxes. I'm trying very hard not to get involved with this tax issue. It doesn't seem like my fight. I do drink tea. We don't have a food tax in New Mexico. That's about as much as I can ask for: tax-free tea. The forefathers would be proud.

I'm all for a better way of doing things, but unfortunately, I don't pay enough taxes for people to pay attention to me. Maybe, that's the best thing I can possibly do. Get out of the way. Excuse me, pardon me, coming through...

Chris Jungle makes no money and pays no taxes for writing this column.