A foggy Saturday morning in October:
6:45 a.m.
Sam (four years old) climbs out of his bunk (top) and pads into Barb and Jon's room. He demands breakfast, but settles for climbing into bed. Jon wanders downstairs and checks his e-mail, ascertaining that it is no longer raining and that Sam's 9 a.m. soccer practice is still on. He gets back in bed, securing the remaining six inches of the mattress.

8:00 a.m.
Jon wakes up again and gets dressed. Sam gets up as well and puts on his soccer clothes. Jon makes breakfast.

8:15 a.m.
Barb gets up and rouses Max (seven years old). Max does not want to get up, but he is promised a morning of thrift shopping. So he rolls out and slowly gets dressed.

9:00 a.m.
Snacks, ball and rain gear (just in case) in hand, Jon and Sam haul out to soccer practice. They arrive just in time to participate in warmups. Sam refuses to actually do the jumping jacks, but he counts enthusiastically. Once practice starts, Sam organizes his preschool pals into a group (about half the team is made up of kids from his class) and spends about as much time talking as practicing. The exceptions come when drills involve kicking a ball into the goal. Then he's completely focused. He continuously modifies his already convoluted goal dance.

9:30 a.m.
Barb and Max arrive at the New Hampshire Ave. Value Village (which was the scene of one of the Beltway sniper attacks back when the building housed a Home Depot) and discover that it opens at 10. Barb makes Max's week by getting him a hot chocolate at the Starbucks next door. They wander back to the thrift store at ten.

11:00 a.m.
Barb and Max get home with shoes and stockings for the witch they started making earlier in the week. Everyone eats lunch and gets ready for Max's soccer game.

11:30 a.m.
The games starts. Max's team is playing the strongest team in the league. Max's side does have one advantage, though--many of the kids on both teams play each other every day at lunch, so there is no intimidation factor.

12:13 p.m.
Max makes an ill-advised goal kick across the goal. The other team intercepts it and easily scores. For once, Max and his team shrug off the deficit.

12:28 p.m.
Max launches a ball from outside of the penalty box. It bounds into the goal. The final whistle sounds immediately. Max's team wins 2-1. Some of the kids on the other team, not accustomed to losing, refuse to shake hands. Parents glare. Second grade is too early for this nonsense, isn't it?

2:00 p.m.
The family heads over to the neighbors to give Sam's best friend a birthday present. The kids scatter and the parents talk. Still much angst about the no handshaking incident.

3:00 p.m.
Barb and Max and Sam do more work on the witch. Jon listens to music submissions.

4:30 p.m.
Barb and Jon get ready for a night out for a friend's 35th birthday. The babysitter is the mom of one of Sam's preschool classmates. Sam is beside himself with excitement.

5:30 p.m.
Barb and Jon leave and the boys don't notice. They're too busy showing off for the sitter.

7:00 p.m.
Barb and Jon arrive at the party, which is being held at a bowling alley in downtown D.C. They each proceed to almost bowl 100 in almost games (due to the large number of party guests, the time allotted for the party runs out before the full 10 frames are bowled).

8:00 p.m.
The babysitter tells Max and Sam to get ready for bed. They do. She puts them in bed. They stay there and go to sleep.

8:45 p.m.
Texas leads Missouri 21-0 after the first quarter. So much for a good homecoming. The party moves on to a steakhouse/multibar establishment on 7th. Barb and Jon are tired.

10:00 p.m.
Barb and Jon beg off the rest of the party and head home on the Metro. A loud tourist keeps announcing his impending arrival to someone on his cell phone. "We'll be there in fifteen minutes!" Then, "We'll be there in ten minutes!" Finally, "We're at the stop!" Lord have mercy, it's the same stop as Barb and Jon. October is too late for loud tourists, isn't it?

10:45 p.m.
Arrival at home. Thank the sitter (no payment, as it's part of an arranged swap) and go to sleep (which is not a euphemism for anything other than sleep). Another exciting day at Casa Barley comes to a close.

Jon Worley is pretty pleased with his life, even if it is not made-for-reality TV.