I turn 39 on Wednesday. According to U.S. Census figures, that puts me almost exactly in the middle of my life (I'm actually expected to live another 38.2 years, but since I'm feeling optimistic, I'll round up).

Actually, given the longevity that seems to run on both sides of my family, I'll probably live longer. But what the hey. It's high time to dispense some mid-life wisdom.

First, my scorecard. I was born on the exact same day as Andre Agassi and Uma Thurman. For a while, Master P claimed to be three years younger than he really was, but he is no longer on my exact birthdate list (he was born April 29, 1967).

I'm not rich and famous, but I'm happy. I have no stalkers (that I know of) and I can carry cases of beer into my car without the national press getting on my ass. So I figure I'm doing okay vis-a-vis my celebrity birthdate mates. Plus, I've lived in such exotic locales as Battle Creek, Mich., and York, Pa., something neither Andre nor Uma can claim. So I might have to push myself slightly ahead.

Back when I was younger, I wanted to publish a novel by the time I was 40. That's not gonna happen. I've written six novels, and five of them suck. The good one is a wee bit too weird to get sold in Borders...I really ought to turn it into a play. It's almost written that way, anyway. Something for the future.

But see, taking care of two kids for 12+ hours a day kinda sucks the life out of your brain. My synapses have been coming back a bit in the last year or so, but I'm not going to be a famous (or even published) writer by the time I'm 40. I can live with that particular disappointment.

Indeed, this leads to my first bit of life wisdom: Figure out what works for you, and go with that.

This may sound dreadfully self-centered, but it's based on the notion that you, and only you, are responsible for your own happiness. In my experience, most self-centered bastards alienate most people around them. If doing that makes you happy (and I'm sure there are people who prefer to be alone), then hell, feel free to screw over everyone you know.

But most folks aren't happy living life that way. And so making yourself happy involves making other folks happy, too. If you live a life that involves other people, then their happiness is important to you. The vast majority of us lead almost impossibly interconnected lives, so in the end, you do what you can and live with that.

Wow. That was so not deep. Oh well. On to point of wisdom #2.

Don't play by the rules.

I worked for the Bill Clinton campaign back in 1992. I liked the guy and his wife (still do), but I cringed every time he went into his "If you work hand and play by the rules" shtick. Play by the rules? He didn't. No one running for president has ever has played by the rules. Running for president, by definition, is not playing by the rules. You make unpalatable deals, you say things you don't mean...that's not playing by the rules.

But if you play by the rules, you probably won't get where you want to go. The rules were made for the folks in charge. And most of us are not in charge. So you have to do some judicious bending.

There's an old saying that says you have to know the rules of writing before you break them. Sentence fragments (and run-on sentences as well) are much more effective when you surprise people with them. You fuck up your grammar all the time, and people will think you're a moron.

Same goes for life. If you want to live a life less ordinary (and a lot of people don't, but that's another story), you have to break the rules now and then. Do something you're not supposed to do. Call when the job application says "no calls." Wander into an office and simply make yourself indispensable. The latter is how I got hired on at the Clinton office in Kansas City in 1992.

So I think these two ideas kinda dovetail into "follow your bliss," which is hardly original thinking. But I think it's true. Find what works for you, and break a few rules to get there.

I know, it only took me thirty-nine years to discover the truth of bumper sticker wisdom. Maybe I'll do better during the next thirty-nine.

Jon Worley's bliss almost always involves beer.