3.1.09
The classics
by Jon Worley

Everybody has their comfortable cheese, the books or movies or music or whatever that makes them feel good. This column is not about personal comfortable cheese. I always turn to Pump Up the Volume when I'm in need of a pick-me-up, but I'm not going to make a case for greatness. Nope, this column is about the classics. For the sake of conciseness, I'll stick to movies. This time.

I've been Netflixing a lot of "classic" movies lately. The musicals seem to wear the best. Guys and Dolls was awesome, even if Brando was a wee bit miscast. I also liked Born Yesterday a lot. With minor tweaks, Barry Levinson could do a remake that really skewered Washington.

But most of the biggies were disappointing. On the Waterfront was a dreary issue movie, as were many movies in the 50s. I know it was the time of blacklisting, but there has to be a happy medium between mindnumbing "important" movies and Big Top. Unfortunately, I haven't found many that manage the trick. The epics were often entertaining, but past Lawrence of Arabia, I didn't see anything worth seeing again. Even Jean Simmons couldn't make me want to watch Spartacus again.

There have been a lot of great movies in the 34 years or so that I've been sitting in theaters. But there are maybe five that actually qualify as classics:

  • Star Wars
  • Caddyshack
  • Bull Durham
  • Pulp Fiction
  • The Lord of the Rings

    There were plenty of great movies that didn't make the cut. Both Monty Python and the Holy Grail and Life of Brian are as funny and observant as they were when they were made some 30 years ago. They'll still be funny in another 100 years. They're just down the list.

    Raiders of the Lost Ark is one of the greatest movies ever. I think it would be #6 on the list. But it's not quite timeless; the Nazi baddies will make a lot less sense years on in the future--even if the face melting scene will continue to be as gruesome and amusing as it always has been.

    The Coen brothers have made any number of fine movies. Maybe The Big Lebowski is a classic. I'm on the fence. I love it, but maybe I love it too much. Plus, in order to be a classic, a fair number of people need to have seen it. Lebowski is a bit too cultish to be a classic.

    There are those who will question the ranking of Caddyshack over its direct ancestor, Animal House. It's a tough call. But Caddyshack has Bill Murray, Chevy Chase, Ted Knight and Rodney Dangerfield in their primes. Animal House has John Belushi, Tim Matheson and a bunch of people who became kinda famous later. Advantage, Caddyshack

    And yes, I'm conflating the three LoTR movies. If you want to make me choose, I'll go with the first one, The Fellowship of the Ring. It is a real tour de force, both in terms of storytelling and cinematic verve. I think the second movie, The Two Towers, is most interesting. Gollum was a wonderful literary character, and Peter Jackson and friends found a way to make him even more compelling on screen. But that first movie was so surprisingly astounding, it has always been tops in my book.

    But there's a question as to what makes a classic, the sort of movie you want to watch again and again. The kind of movie that never gets old. Maybe it has to do with simply being amenable to multiple viewings. The Usual Suspects and Memento (among many others) were great the first time. Maybe, if you wanted to obsess, you watched them twice. Anything after that is simply geeky.

    On the other hand, there's Star Wars. I've lost track of how many times I've seen the photon torpedoes jump down the ray-shielded exhaust ports, but I never get tired of it. In fact, my brothers and I knew the pilot chatter well enough that we reprised it in the theater during the climactic scene of Independence Day. We even got some other giggling theater-goers to chime in at the appropriate moments.

    So yes, one key to the classics is a certain watchability. Comedies are better at this, because truly funny routines get funnier the more you see or hear them. But most comedies are topical or, worse, spend an inordinate time dealing with a love story. The Wedding Crashers was funny (mostly) before the whole love story subplot took over the movie. Love stories are well and good, but there was only one classic movie that completely revolved around a love story: Casablanca. Anything else is commentary.

    There's also the timeless nature to consider. LoTR will be watched for ages because it is a classic story of good vs. evil and persistence in the face of certain doom. It's the myth of humanity, if you will, and it's told exceptionally well. Likewise, Star Wars takes place in "a galaxy far, far away..." I was eight when I first saw Star Wars. I've seen a few similarly-aged kids get their first taste of the original, and they all love it. It may be true that Star Wars is best suited for kids, but it will retain that charm for generations.

    Pulp Fiction and Bull Durham are tougher sells, I suppose. Tell me the truth, though: When you've come across Bull Durham on late-night cable, you always watch. At least a little. Kevin Costner and Susan Sarandon are smokin' hot, and the movie is one of the funniest and wisest movies ever written. Yes, there's a love story, but the central love of the movie is an abiding one for our national pastime. And, you know, the movie was shot in my old neighborhood. I know those houses and those trees. But the thing was shot ten years before I lived in Durham. So it doesn't count.

    As for Pulp Fiction, I get goosebumps every time I watch it. I time out my viewings, so I get to it every two years or so. But it's so fucking good, and it moves along at such a breakneck clip that two hours and forty minutes pass by in what seems to be an hour. Bad Mutha Fucka, indeed.

    Most movies aren't classics, and that's just fine. Any one person has only such room for personal classics. Most movies are popcorn. These five are meals to be savored when times get tough.

    The classics are always there to inspire us when we need help the most. Guess it's time to see Luke remove that restraining bolt one more time.


    Jon Worley hasn't watched Star Wars since mid-2008.


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