Friday night was supposed to be the Fifth Annual Johnny Cash Tribute Show, but instead my band played a regular set with a couple JC songs thrown in and individually dedicated every song to...Sarah Palin.

The Johnny Cash thing officially fell apart a week before (although it was all over way before that--much too long a story to get into here), and maybe it was all Sarah Palin's fault. She is, according to McCain, the smartest person on the face of the earth (I'm paraphrasing here), so we gotta throw both praise and blame her way. Hopefully drilling for more oil will fix our rock n' roll scheduling in the future.

About halfway through the set, someone questioned why we would continually (and with much humor) dedicate every song in our set to the GOP VP Candidate. Our leader replied, "I like hockey. I like moms." He has three kids and two ex-wives of his own (although, technically, the exes aren't his anymore), so I believe him.

And maybe I should point out my band rocks pretty songs about breaking up with girls. Playing tunes called "Need To Forget," "The Divorce Song" and "Can't Find My Way" (although that last one isn't really about girls), dedicating them to the Governor of Alaska, and having a good laugh about it probably makes sense. It certainly did on Friday night.

That and most people who go to late night local rock and roll shows are rather liberal. Don't worry GOP, they aren't a huge voting block. In fact, I'd venture to guess most of them won't vote. The polls close at 7 p.m., and that's when this crowd starts to stir out of bed.

But after blasting Obama for being a celebrity (and bitching he wasn't getting enough attention from the media), McCain helped create an instant celebrity (we love fads--especially if a hint of sexuality is involved) and started bitching about how the media is too hard on his "pin-up" running mate.

Y'know, they're asking hard questions and she wasn't ready for anything except her "How I Wish I Could Change The World" speech and accompanying evening wear competition.

But the biggest question isn't for poor old (I mean vivacious and sexy!) Sarah, it's for the rest of us: how long are we gonna fall starry eyed for the new political Britney Spears?

McCain's banking the appeal will last a couple more months, and he's got history on his side if you look at it from a pop culture point of view. It took years for Spears to flame out. Lindsey Lohan was the hottest thing going for a few years, too. And, inexplicably, scions of rich people have enough money too stay in the spotlight way past their expiration date.

Once the election's over, it won't matter. McCain won't have to do joint campaign appearances anymore. It's gotta be kinda galling to do rallies with her in front of twenty thousand people, and then, in the afternoon when she's gone, be reduced to talking to a couple of people in a coffee shop as "protesters" yell loud enough to drown out the conversation.

And since she has a hard time answering off the cuff questions from the evil media (why don't they just leave her alone...I mean, look at her, isn't she lovely?), they both need a little hand-holding to get through this final stretch.

I feel worse for Obama, though. He's the big bad black guy who has to stick it to two white women this year. "Shaft" should be his theme song. After dusting off Hillary to win the nomination, he's gotta nail the other end of the female political spectrum. It should be easy--I mean he's got issues on his side this time--but it probably looks mean to a lot of female voters.

And white guys, who voted for Bush because he's the guy they wanted to drink a beer with, now get to vote for the girl they wanted to nail in high school--and her disapproving father.

I mean, how important is the President of the United States anyway? What do they do that affects any of us in any real way?

Y'know, since everything that happens on this good earth is God's Will.

Especially those wars, pregnant teens, hurricanes, Superbowl Champions, high gas prices, failing banks, Osama bin Ladens, American Idols, lottery winners and homecoming queens.

Matt Worley would like to dedicate this column to, uh...oh yeah, Sarah Palin.