I was driving the cab on Monday morning, taking a mother/daughter duo to the nearby community center. They were going to get permits to sell items for Christmastime. 'Hey driver, have you got your shopping done?' All I could say is 'Nope, not yet.' It was the first of December. What, exactly, was I supposed to have done? That's right, the season has begun, and I'm already behind.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, everywhere you go.

First off, there's the shopping. I never know what to get people, especially my immediate family. I have been shopping for them for about thirty years now, tried every possible type of gift, and still at least half the time, they end up disappointed. I think all family members should lower their expectations for what gifts they get. They rarely last. Looking around this room, I can only see one thing that was a Christmas gift, sort of. My folks gave me a can of flavored popcorn once, and I still use the can as a wastebasket. It's the thought that counts, right?

Simply. Having. A wonderful Christmas time.

Then, there's the parties. Work parties, neighborhood parties, parties at friends, parties at acquaintances, volunteer parties, board parties, religious parties, pay-off-my-campaign-debt party. I'm part of the local theatre community, so every theatre throws a party. The theatre guild throws a party. Individual theatre people throw parties. Parties are fun. Don't get me wrong. But there are only so many hours in the evening and the weekends to accommodate everyone's good cheer. In fact, there is a limit to my good cheer. Then, it just becomes ordinary cheer.

You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch. You really are a heel. You're as cuddly as a cactus, you're as charming as an eel, Mr. Griiiiiiiii-inch. You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel!

Then, there's my own little family. Needless to say, I'm not big on Christmas, but I don't want to be a Scrooge either. I have told Maria she can do whatever she wants as far as decorations and celebrations. I will come along for the ride. We have a little one, and while she won't remember this Christmas as all, I should get used to the idea of celebrating Christmas for many years to come.

Sleigh bells ring. Are you listening?

One of my favorite Christmas jokes came from the cartoon Futurama. "I remember as I child having a great time at Christmas. My Dad used to whip up his special brand of egg nog using only bourbon and ice cubes." Cracks me up every time.

Dashing through the snow, in a one horse open sleigh, o'er the fields we go, laughing all the way. Ha ha ha.

Christmas is too commercial! Christmas is too religious! Christmas season lasts too long! How did a story about a baby born in a barn spiral into this massive month-long event? Okay, okay, even methinks I protest too much. There are those who say Christmas actually stabilizes the capitalist economy. If you're not in it for Jesus, do it for America! We cannot escape it, even if we try.

Joy to the world! The Lord has come!

The intent and expressions of the holiday season are all well and good. We have all made it through another year. Unless of course we didn't, but then we don't have to worry about what to get people this or any other year. I will spread the holiday cheer. I will wish my passengers a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and so forth. No Bah-Humbugs from me. Some of those Christmas tunes are kind of catchy.

Happy Christmas, John. Happy Christmas, Yoko. Whisper, whisper, whisper. Hee hee hee.

Like everything else, I will attempt to keep my Christmas in moderation. The food, the booze, the gifts, the songs, the Santa, the cheer, the specials. I may have a few reservation about this season every season, but I do wish all of you the best for the rest of the year and beyond. Sing along, everybody.

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire. Jack Frost nipping at your nose.

Chris Jungle does not keep that Christmas spirit all year round.