I can't remember. I just can't remember what it is about Memorial Day.

We're at war with Iraq. We've always been at war with Iraq. We will always be at war with Iraq.

And it's one-two-three what are we fighting for? Who cares, I don't give a damn. Next stop is Vietnam. And it's five-six-seven open up the pearly gates. Some line I can't remember. Whoopie, we're all gonna die!

Was that Joe Fish? I don't recall.

I sort of remember Indiana Jones. He's come back for Memorial Day. He's the guy who created the PG-13 rating when he went to the Temple of Doom, right?

Hey, Saudis, can we have some more oil? No? Okay. Just a little more? No? Okay.

Remember when the president was the most powerful man in the free world? I can't.

F.Y.I. The world isn't free any more, and neither are your checked American Airlines bags. Remember when the skies were friendly? Me neither.

I remember 9-11, but I can't remember the memorial for it. I remember people coming up with ideas for it, but somehow, that has been difficult to make happen. Are we allowed to forget never forgetting?

Go green for Memorial Day? What color are we going right now? Brown? Black? Red? Blue?

Think, man. Think. There has to be a logical progression to why we do what we do. Or does there? Are there really any rules why have abide by? Probably, but I can't remember which ones.

I remember two years ago, the majority of the United States voters went to the polls to say they wanted the war in Iraq to end. Since then, we've done ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to stop the war. We have put the stories further back in the paper. First, you lose interest. Then, you lose your memory. Finally, you don't care. What was my point?

Quick, what's nine times nine? What's the capitol of Vermont? Who was the fourth president? I know we learned all those things, but they never told us why.

81, Montpelier, James Madison. Big deal. No one is even grading the tests anymore.

And yet, every last weekend in May, they tell me to remember. They say never forget. They say they fought for my freedom.

So sayeth Merriam-Webster:

Freedom n. the quality or state of being free: independence

Independence n. the quality or state of being independent: freedom

I can't tell you why, but it sounds like freedom and independence are interdependent.

Oh say, can you see by the dawn's early light? What so proudly we hail at the twilight's last gleaming. And the rocket's red glare, the bombs bursting in air, gave proof through the night that our flag was still there. Oh say does that star bangled banner yet wave o'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.

Oh say, why do I remember that? Am I supposed to know that for some reason?

Who put the bop in the bop-shoo-bop? Who put the ram in the ramma-lamma-ding-dong? Good questions. I don't know the answers. Maybe I knew at one time, took the test, got a good grade, and promptly forgot all of it. Am I less smart now for not knowing? Or am I more smart now for not being tested?

They say it's a day of memory. A day for cemeteries & patriotism & backyard barbecues. They say it's a holiday, but I can't remember the true meaning anymore.

What sayeth Merriam-Webster?

Memorial Day n. the last Monday in May or formerly May 30 observed as a legal holiday in commemoration of dead servicemen

serviceman n. 1. a male member of the armed forces 2. a man employed to repair or maintain equipment

So here's to our armed forces & maintenance men who are no longer with us. You may have died, but take heart that it was not in vain. Our war machines and washing machines will chug along forever! God Bless America!

Did I pass the test? Can I go on summer vacation now?

Chris Jungle used to know everything he's now forgotten.