Sometimes it's better not to focus too much on one thing.

It's graduation time around America, and in my town, that means suicides and silliness. One distraught teen, who had been informed he wouldn't graduate, sat on the railroad tracks and let our commuter train smash him to death. Another teen boy, who was failing five classes, was baffled when he was informed he wouldn't graduate either. The teen wrote a suicide letter saying he didn't want his daughter to grow up with a failure of a dad and blew his head off. That's right, teen dad was finally successful at something: killing himself.

For those who stayed alive to graduate, they were greeted at graduation with pat downs and feel ups. Apparently, they didn't want beach balls and hoo-hah to occur during the ceremonies. I've often compared school to prison, and it's funny how they keep finding tangible ways to prove me right. One more security sweep before you get that diploma (a.k.a. Get Out Of Jail Free Card).

Once again, I successfully avoided watching "American Idol," and I have never watched more than five minutes of any episodes of the number one-rated show. I find out who wins from the trusty newspaper, which is still chock full of pointless information. Apparently, the two finalists are both named David. They look like the same person ten years apart. Is this what TV America wants? Two versions of the exact same thing? Oh wait, the next highest rated show is "Dancing With The Stars." I guess all we really want is a big talent show.

Isreal is 60 years old and still can't play nice with its neighbors. I'm surprised no one has asked McCain or Obama what peace plan they would like to fail when they become president.

In the obits, John Phillip Law received a whole column announcing his death. Whose John Phillip Law? Why, he played the angel who flew Jane Fonda around in Barbarella. He was also in a handful of other movies you've never heard of. I know we like to reap too many accolades on our movie actors, but being third banana in a cheesy sci-fi spoof doesn't constitute a column obit in my paper. Or is it just filler?

Speaking of the movies, my brother and I were extras in a movie called Swing Vote, coming out in August. The trailer was just released last week, and I watched it yesterday with my brother. We watched as Kevin Costner and a young girl have father/daughter difficulties, and it flashes through many scenes and scenarios. For a second, I saw a scene I was in and asked my brother to freeze the shot (it's amazing what computers can do). Sure enough, there I am screen right, smiling and clapping on stage at a campaign rally for Greenleaf (a.k.a. Dennis Hopper). I had nice sideburns, too. So there you have it, I'm in a half second of trailer footage for a movie with a hundred other people. Whoopie! See you in the obits, America.

Big Brown completes the second leg of The Triple Crown because they rigged The Preakness with a bunch of also-rans. Apparently, they are bringing in a special Japanese horse to race with Big Brown at The Belmont. In horse racing, hype is everything. The actual race is three minutes long. By the way, I rooted for Ichabod Crane to show, and sure enough, that horse came in third. Washington Irving is always good for a cheap bet.

Republicans think we can solve our oil problems by drilling in Alaska. Democrats think we can solve it with our imagination. You know, those hydrogen cars are looking better every day. But hey, I'm no politician. No one is greasing (or oiling) my palms.

Memorial Day is next week. Is your gas four dollars a gallon yet?

That's right. I'm laughing at everything this week, but there's still a tear in my eye.

Chris Jungle is a sit down comedian.