"So what are your kids doing this summer?"

As the days counted down to Max's final day of Kindergarten last Thursday, I've been asked that question over and over. And my answer is the same: "Hanging out."

That's a heretical notion in these days of the programmed childhood, but it's one that seems to be catching on. Every day another book lamenting the death of childhood freedom hits the shelves. More and more people seem to be coming around to the idea that simply hanging out and finding ways to amuse yourself just might be the best way to spend a summer.

Of course, we don't have a video game machine. So there will be none of that in our house. Also, Max and Sam get to watch TV once a week--except, you know, when important things like the European soccer championships are being played.

Most of our hanging out time is spent outside. We go to parks, we wander downtown to the museums, we stop by the zoo and we splash in the creek. We play baseball, frisbee, soccer, whatever. Sam has taken to shooting at the 8-foot hoop in a local park. Max has discovered that he can shoot at the "big boy" hoop. There are slides to be slid and bikes to be ridden. And there are times to wander around just outside of a parent's line of sight.

I like playing with my sons. They're brash and exuberant and generally a blast. But they also need to learn how to live without me. Max's first complete sentence was "Daddy go away." He's always had a pretty good handle on independence. Sam is only three-and-a-half, but he's always been the clingier of the two. Just this evening, he spent two hours attached to Barb or me while we visited friends. But then he finally separated and spent the last hour or so playing without us. Those are the moments that make me proud.

A lot of people put the blame for overscheduled kids squarely on the parents. Ultimately, of course, the parents are the ones in charge. But a lot of kids like to be booked up all day every day. It makes them feel like they're doing something. And they ask or even beg their parents to book them up.

And when you read about extraordinary achievers in the fields of athletics or politics or whathaveyou, a lot of those folks were well-nigh overbooked as kids. Tiger Woods and Condi Rice immediately come to mind, but there are thousands more like them ruling the world as we speak.

It's natural to fall into the trap of wanting your child to have every advantage and to feel like you're hurting them if you don't take advantage of all the "opportunities" out there. But that way of thinking is a trap.

I see these successful people. Most of them profess to be happy, and I think they are. But they're also fairly one-dimensional people. In an interview some time ago, Rice couldn't recall the last book she read for pleasure. Most professional athletes have spent so much time honing their craft that they don't have many interests outside of the game that rules their lives. You can hear it in the interviews they give. You can see it in their disconnected stares off the field or the court. There's the game, and there's the time away from the game. And that's it.

I spent most of my childhood wanting to be a pro baseball player. And if I had accomplished the impossible, I would have been the outcast, the weirdo. A guy like Brady Anderson, the former Orioles outfielder who habitually corrected the grammar and style of stories written by the reporters who interviewed him. Or maybe like Tim Green, who was ridiculed by players and coaches for "getting up" for pro football games by reading books. Real books, that is, not ones that had pictures.

Intellectual pursuits alone don't make a well-rounded person. Getting out and socializing, playing sports and enjoying hobbies are all great ways of expanding your life. And the best thing to do is make a habit of trying new things. That way you're always challenging yourself.

It's advice I don't always live up to myself. But I try, and I hope that my example inspires my sons to find something new to learn every day. Even if what you learn is that the mosquitoes will eat you alive if you spend too much time at the confluence of Long Branch and Sligo Creeks.

Jon Worley went to the Jersey Shore for the first time this weekend. He learned that it costs $7.50 a person to put your toes in the sand. He figures that's about all he needs to know about the Jersey Shore.