I read a bunch of psychics' predictions for next year. Then I thought, well, I don't have any Tarot cards or crystal balls, but I can probably do as good as them. Considering they're just making it up, too. They are more theatrical about it, but I'm not going to go out and get a new outfit just for this column.

I am wearing my lion's head slippers, which means, if anything, that my feet will be warm for the duration of my typing. Ooohhh, here they come. The predictions are just flowing!

Personally, I'll be getting a job in the new year. I can see this happening in the next month or two. But you don't care about that, really. So I'll move on.

The Presidential primaries will not be decided in the next couple of weeks for the two major parties. It might take another few months. But by June, we'll know. They don't decide these things at the conventions anymore.

We'll be electing a kind of person who has never been elected to President in our country. This is hedging a bet, I guess. But if everyone wants change (and after 2007, I'm thinking people want some of that reform and change), you gotta grab that diversity bull by the horns.

Other than that, the United States won't make any huge policy movements. So don't expect the war to end. Or that Social Security, health care or the immigration issue will be decided. If we're lucky, they'll get a budget put together. But it might get pushed till there's a new President and Congress a little over a year from now. Expect many emergency spending bills.

There is no political advantage to fixing anything in 2008. I'm so glad the people in Congress have jobs. How would they be able to run around campaigning all the time with no tax payer or lobbyist money to pay their expenses? Throw the bums out. Just getting that sentiment out there as soon as possible.

The entertainment strikes (writers now, directors and actors soon) will be settled by the end of the summer.

The Patriots will lose in the playoffs. My feeling is Jacksonville. The Dodgers will win the World Series. I have no clue about basketball, I never start watching until April.

It will be made clear that everyone in every major sport has taken steroids for one simple reason: there are steroids in Gatorade.

Chastity belts will make a comeback.

People will throw their cell phones away. I've actually been saying this every year since 1999, so I'm not solid on it.

Van Halen will break up again. Led Zeppelin will reunite for a tour. The Police will try to record a new album and then break up from the time together in the studio. But they will record and release one new song.

A film shot in New Mexico will win an Oscar.

No one will win in the fight between Blu-ray and HD DVDs.

And, oh yeah, Bush will be President for the entirety of 2008. That's more of a reminder than a prediction.

Well, there you go. Right off the top of my head. A couple cups of coffee, a little Queen and this is what I come up with. That's okay, you don't have to pay me. I told you, I'm gonna be getting a job. And it won't be as a soothsayer.

Matt Worley will miss his mostly care-free, hermit-like lifestyle in 2008.