It happens every fall. The weather changes, and some little rodent finds its way into my house. I don't know why, but it's almost always just one. I'll admit I've had a mouse phobia for a while now. I still remember a poisoned mouse writhing around in pain on the floor when I was a teenager. First, I screamed at the sight, and then I scooped it up in a dustpan and flushed him down the toilet.

My phobia has been documented in other columns of mine. I've equated mice in the house to the menace of dictators and terrorists, but I have to admit I'm getting better about not letting the paranoia consume me. They are just wee critters after all.

My roommate is allergic to cats, so we have no natural predators to take care of these rodents. We've tried the snap traps with honey or peanut butter, and in the early days, it worked with success. Either mice have gotten smarter, or the rodent network has put out warnings about the dangers of tiny pieces of food on metal trays.

Mice would be fine if it wasn't for my sleepy time. I don't know what fascination mice have with my ears, but they have a habit of sticking their wee whiskers in the hole. Is ear wax tasty? Of course, after that it is nearly impossible to sleep. I was planning on taking Friday off work and go for a hike in the mountains, but for some unknown reason to me, the mouse skittered around my room in rapid motion. It crashed into the end table near bed and woke me up at 4 a.m. Since I normally go to work a 4:30 a.m., I decided to get up and go to work instead of trying to get back to sleep for a couple of hours. That's right. A mouse made me go to work.

I don't fear the mouse clawing my eyes out like I did just a few years ago, but I still haven't embraced the tiny vermin with much affection. When I have seen it skittering through the room, I try to catch it with a broom or trash can. I've had a couple near misses, but that little rodent always eludes me.

What really gets rid of the mice is really quite tragic. I whip out a box of D-Con, and let the little critters munch on poison pellets for a few days. It's a slow and most likely painful process for the mice, but that's how the job gets done. As near as I can tell, rodent poison is a lot like crack. The mouse will munch a little death and speed through the area with a burst of energy. Then, it instantly craves the sweet poison pellets soon after and goes right back to the deadly drug. If it only took a day or so, it would be fine, but the poisoning process takes more like a week. Right now, I have a poisoned mouse wandering around my abode. It must fall.

People have told me about other remedies. Last night, someone said putting down uncooked instant mashed potatoes works well for them. Apparently, mice can't digest the potatoes and basically explode. Kind of like birds do with wedding rice. There's nothing quite like exploding rodents.

I'm really not big on killing animals and insects. Since directing a play called "Bug," I've made sure not to go out of my way to kill any bugs. I consider it bad luck. Good thing I didn't have anything to do with the production "Of Mice and Men." Wah ha ha.

Even with my phobia subsiding, I still have to deal with rodents almost every autumn. There is that initial moment when they make their presence known, usually by sticking their nose in my ear hole while I'm trying to sleep. Then, they start rummaging through the pots and pans, clanking this and that. Finally, they make themselves visible by cruising along the molding at the bottom of the wall.

There is not much I can do to stop them coming every fall. My current rodent resident is dealing with poison but still cruises around at odd times. Of course, it is just a minor inconvenience. It could be worse. It might not be just a furry little vermin. It could be something much worse: Rats.

Hopefully not to be continued...

Chris Jungle is his own extermination company.