So you want to be in the movies, eh? Well, this is how it goes for the lowest actors on the movie totem pole (if you're lucky). I spent three days this week as a featured extra for the Kevin Costner flick Swing Vote, being filmed in and around my town of Albuquerque New Mexico.

The first day started on Monday at 5 a.m. in the east mountains of the Sandias at a swanky house near San Antonito. I was a Greenleaf Aide, and I didn't really know what that meant. Of course as an extra, you really don't know what you're supposed to do until right before you're doing it. There were over 100 extras on that day, and I lucked out and got a spot on the stage where Greenleaf would give a speech at a rally. Most of the extras were supporters, cheering in the crowd below. I stood next to a lady named Heather, who was a personal friend of the director's. She was a nice pale classic-looking lady from L.A.

Quick plot synopsis: The 2008 Presidential Election has come down to the wire, a neck and neck race between President Boone (Kelsey Grammer) & Vermont Senator Greenleaf (Dennis Hopper). So tight that the results hinge on the irregular vote of the postman in Texico, New Mexico named Bud (Costner). It's a little far-fetched, but hey, it's the movies. Supposedly, it's a comedy, but I wasn't in on any of the funny stuff.

Nathan Lane (of The Producers & The Birdcage fame) was the first star to take the stage. He looked pretty much like you'd expect: short & stocky with a far off gaze in the early morning. He was Greenleaf's top aide. He shook our hands politely and did his best to ignore us. I didn't blame him. Then came Greenleaf himself: Dennis Hopper. He was shorter than I expected (a common theme with big name actors) but very fit. He was many a year past the wild Easy Rider days.

Hopper had to make an awkward & difficult speech which he could never get through all in one take. The point was that he was introducing people from many cultures and creeds. "Who can forget Jewish-American Schmooly Hidleberg & his Muslim-American counterpart Moustafah Mohammed Azi for starting the Shalom-a-lekem drive, bringing peace to their divided community?" That was just one little chunk. I remember because I heard the speech dozens of times. Hopper had trouble with the names, but he also could never quite say a-lekem. It usually came out ah-lickem, which cracked us up on many, many takes. In the heat of the August sun as we all wore winter coats, it was a quite surreal experience. A couple folks passed out in the heat. Yeesh.

My highlight, however, also involved Hopper after his speech. He had to shake hands with the crowd & wave, but he also came down the line of aides on my side. He spoke to Nathan Lane, hugged and cheek-kissed Heather, and we gave each other a nice man-pat. That's right. My hands have touched Dennis Hopper several times.

The lowlight is that the first day lasted 15 hours. On screen, I was smiling & clapping. Off screen, I was sitting and waiting. As a bit of contradiction, I was a Boone supporter near the end of the day, waving a sign in the back, so they wouldn't see my face. Extras change roles on a regular basis. Bussed here and there. Bustled around like cattle. Acting like it's November with coats on in the hot August sun. Finally done around 8 p.m. It was a long day for eight bucks an hour (and no overtime), but that's the life of an extra.

Day 2 for me was on Thursday, starting at 2 p.m. Mostly interior shots of Greenleaf headquarters in a building downtown. We shuffled around the office for passing shots. Some local actors had been cast as Greenleaf aides with lines. I didn't even have an audition. Get my agent on the phone! On the bright side, a guy I knew on the crew said I had a great shot for about ten seconds of reading a newspaper and gesturing to my assistant. I think it was because of my swell dark mustard colored shirt. The clothes I wore were mostly mine and wardrobe had many changes for me as the scenes shifted. For extras, the clothes do make the man.

After staring at a green screen for far too long (election results) late into the night, I pulled on my trench coat, gloves & hat, and the scene changed to an exterior shot that was supposed to be Detroit around 11 p.m. They had a dolly track that shot us from behind (you'll never know it's me), and we finally wrapped around 12:30 a.m. The shortest day at 11 hours!

Day 3 (my final day) started on Friday at 2:30 p.m. at a playground near a senior center in the Southeast Heights. I ate a bacon green chili cheeseburger from catering and waited in the holding area. And waited. And waited. They finally called the aides in to stand around monitors for a commercial Greenleaf was shooting. The scene didn't make sense to us, didn't take long, and we were sent back to background holding. A lot of being an extra is hurry up and wait. Quick, get into costume & wait. Quick, get into position & wait. There is no use complaining. This is how the movies are done. You are one of 500 people and far and away the least important. Get used to it or go home without pay.

At 8 p.m., we shifted location to base camp at The War Memorial on Louisiana SE near Gibson, and we ate our finest meal. We got one meal each day, and this one was far and away the best: your choice of filet mignon, chicken, shrimp, crab legs, veggies, salad, cakes & pies. It's good to work the last day of the week.

Our last location turned out to be at the Warren Apartments, which is low income housing in what we affectionately call 'The War Zone.' After mass confusion, crowd control issues, wardrobe questions, and circling around & around, things finally settled down. They asked extras to use their cars, particularly looking for some run down vehicles. I knew my rusting white Caprice was perfect, and sure enough, they selected it for the prime stationary spot in the parking lot. That's right, even my car got some screen time.

They switched me out of my suit and tie and replaced them with flannel & jeans. I was supposed to be part of the TV crew, then they switched me to a gawking neighbor. Not having enough paid extras, they decided to let the local bystanders be in the scene as well. Basically, people flocking around Kevin Costner while he rescued his daughter from something or other. Since we were supposed to be locals of Texico (a town about 8 miles from my old hometown of Clovis), I unbuttoned my flannel and gave my best open mouthed, open shirt, drunk hick look. For about 15 minutes, even people running the movie thought I was a trouble-making local. Then, the costume lady realized it was me and told me to button up. Sometimes, you have to make your own fun as an extra.

They decided to use the paid extras as crew after all and gave me a fake boom mike to follow Costner. We yelled out 'Bud! Who'd you vote for, Bud!' Even the War Zone residents were quick to pick up how to do things. Being an extra isn't that difficult. I even added 'What about America, Bud? What do you think about the future of America?' He gave no answers.

We wrapped around 2:30 a.m. Officially, I worked 37 hours in three days, plus a twenty buck bump for using my car. We'll see how much I really made when I get the checks. Being on the movie set can be pretty fun at times, and pretty freakin' tedious at other times. Three days of extra work was plenty for me. I'm directing a play right now, so I do actually have other things to do. I may get my mug in the movie, or I may end up on the cutting room floor.

All in all, I'm glad I made time for three days of extra work because, you know, I want to be in the movies.

Chris Jungle is the guy behind the guy in that scene in Swing Vote.