A funny thing happened this Tuesday. I was supposed to have rehearsal for a play I'm directing, but my leading lady had to switch to Wednesday instead. This gave me the night off. I was taking it easy and decided to take in the Giants/Nationals game on ESPN. It wasn't just any game. Barry Bonds was sitting on 755 career home runs, tied with Hank Aaron for the most ever. Knowing I wouldn't be able to watch the next game, I found myself doing what apparently no one outside San Francisco was supposed to be doing: I was rooting for Barry Bonds to smack number 756.

I kept hearing reports about how no one cared about the record, that the record was tainted, that there should be an asterisk. The Commissioner of Baseball was not there, and seeing his bored reaction to Barry's 755, it's probably best that he just stew in Milwaukee with his family. Bud Selig keeps saying a man is innocent until proven guilty. What word have I not said yet? What's the elephant in the middle of the room? Steroids.

I sipped some whiskey and watched Barry's first at-bat. He slapped a single. Okay, he's making contact. That's a good sign.

Let's flashback a little bit to a year called 1994. The Montreal Expos were the best team in baseball, ready to break the Atlanta Braves' streak of consecutive division titles. Montreal, who rarely had a good team, now had a great team, putting together a juggernaut from their farm teams. Then, another S-word occurred. STRIKE! Players and management couldn't come to a collective bargaining agreement, and there ended up being no post-season that year. No Expos in the playoffs, and ten years later, there would be no Montreal Expos at all. They would become the Washington Nationals. Hey, that's who the Giants are playing!

In Barry's second at-bat, he roped a double to the wall. Over the center fielder's head, but still far short of the sought after homer. 2 for 2 though. Halfway to the cycle.

After 1994, baseball suffered. People couldn't understand how billionaires and millionaires couldn't find common ground to play a game. Fans abandoned their teams. Outside of Atlanta, New York & Cleveland, not much support was garnered for five years. Until two guys came along and started hitting home runs at an alarming rate: Mark McGwire & Sammy Sosa. They assaulted the hallowed single season home run mark set by Roger Maris at 61. People got excited, people tuned in, people went to games again. McGwire got there first and ended up with an amazing 70 home runs. Sosa came up an admirable second with 66. Baseball was back, and people wondered if the ball was juiced. That's right, people's explanation was that the ball might be juiced.

Speaking of juiced, I realized that I had drank as much whiskey as I should considering I had to go to work the next day, and it was about time to be going to bed. West Coast games can last until midnight, and I had to be up at 4:30 a.m. to get in the cab. But I'll watch one more Barry at-bat. Just one more...

After Sosa & McGwire, everyone started hitting the ball out of the ball park. Long ball was the name of the game. In 2003, Barry Bonds got in on the home run game. In his amazing season, he socked 73 home runs. The new champion. But then people started saying the S-word: S-teroids. The talk got so big that there were congressional hearings. McGwire didn't want to talk about the past. Sosa couldn't understand English. Raphael Palmeiro emphatically said he didn't take steroids, hit 500 home runs, and was caught with steroids in his body during a drug test. The jig was up. The players were juiced.

SMACK! Just like that Barry Bonds hit his 756 home run, and I was up and cheering. Just like I did during the McGwire-Sosa days. Just like Barry's 73 season. Hoorah hooray, calloo callay! Barry Bonds had now past Hank Aaron to become the Home Run King. A record that has lasted since the year of my birth.

When Maris broke Ruth's single-season record, people were upset (because Maris wasn't Mantle). When Aaron broke Ruth's record, people were upset (because Aaron wasn't white). When McGwire beat Maris' record, everyone was happy because it saved baseball. When Bonds beat McGwire, people were upset (because Bonds is kind of a jerk). When Bonds beat Aaron's record, people were upset (because Bonds did what McGwire did). Make sense?

What we hate now about the juiced up players is what actually saved the game a decade ago. All we had to do was sacrifice all of the home run records to save the game. A fair trade, don't you think? Now, steroids are illegal and players are tested (not the case before). Now, people flock to ballparks in greater numbers than ever before (not the case in the late 90s). Baseball has a ton of history, and these years will go down as the Steroids Era. Just another moment in the vast history of baseball. But the game goes on, the people come, and Barry Bonds is the home run king. No asterisk. We can all tell the story however we want.

But I tell you, I will remember that Tuesday night, drunk on whiskey on a fluke night off, smiling and cheering because I saw Barry Bonds hit home run number 756.

Chris Jungle holds no records of any kind.