Believe it or not, but I never had a valentine girl in my first thirty-two years of life. Sure, my Mom was always good about getting candy or little heart gifts for her sons. I would get valentine cards in elementary school from girls, but they gave them out to many folks. During high school, I remember making out with girls in February, but it was more because we didn't have valentines instead of being each other's valentines. Most of my relationships with women lasted less than a season, and I was almost always able to avoid both Christmas & Valentine's gifts.

This last year has been different. Since last May, I've been dating the same girl named Maria. I met her while acting in the play "Ozma of Oz" at The Albuquerque Little Theatre. I still like to say 'I met her in Oz.' I performed the dual roles as Captain Sam in the 'real' world & General in Oz, while she baby-sat the younger kids in the production. She would call me Sergeant Pepper because my General costume looked a lot like a green & black marching band uniform. I had a good time and made fun quips with most folks in the multi-generational cast.

I didn't pay too much attention to her during the run, but we had a cast party the night before the last performance. The group of mostly college kids played silly drinking games & spin the bottle, and I smooched most the girls there. Although Maria did not play the games, she came up to me and laid a big wet kiss on me and left the party soon afterwards. I thought very little about it, but a week after the play closed, she called me up and asked if I wanted to go out sometime. We had a date, and then another, and another, and another. She was simply the nicest girl I'd ever met.

When I first asked how old she was, she said '23.' It took me one date to figure out this was not true. She confessed that she was only twenty. Being 31 at the time, the age gap was obvious, but Maria has a quality of being simple & mature at the same time. Besides, twenty is only one year away from 21, right?

We got together for about four months with very traditional dates usually once a week. Dinners, lunches, movies, plays. Nothing too complex. She lives on the other side of town, and when I met her, she had no car. I would have to drive across town to pick her up, drive her to my side where most entertainment occurs, drive her home to Westgate at the end of the date, and then drive myself home. Eventually, the dates evolved into her occasionally staying the night at my place as well. I'm not the best at sleeping with other people, but I'm getting better.

One date I made a joke about checking her ID, and she balked on showing me her license. I didn't say anything at the time, but the next time I called her, I asked her how old she really was. Her first response was 'Well, I'm not fifteen.' My heart stopped. This immediately made me assume she was 16, and I was on the verge of jumping ship. Eventually, she admitted she was 18, and I carded her the next time we got together. Sure enough, 18. I didn't even date 18-year old girls when I was 18. By this time, I was 32. Fourteen years different. More importantly, I checked her birth date. It was in March, and I met her in April. She was 18 when I met her. Nothing illegal had occurred.

After about two weeks of strange soul searching, I decided it was still all right to date her. After all, when I found out she was eighteen, I was performing in "The Pillowman" as Michal Katurian, the retarded brother of a horror writer who killed little kids because he wanted to see if the gruesome stories were far-fetched. Let's just say I've done stranger things in this life than date a young girl.

We continue to get together about once a week. I'm not in a hurry with Maria at all. She's always going to be about fourteen years younger than me. She has since gotten a car which means she can drive to see me sometimes. I used my connection to get her a job as a soda jerk at the 66 Diner after her stint of being a hostess at Applebee's turned sour. I even spent a couple hours of Christmas Day with her family (a first for me).

Since we usually get together on a weekend night, we agreed to celebrate Valentine's Day early. Only one problem for me. What does one do for Valentine's Day? My experience was to make out with girls in the dark and not talk to them in school for a month or so afterwards. Fortunately, it's not as hard as it always seemed.

Candy, flowers, dinner & then champagne (at my place). Nice and traditional. Of course, that didn't stop her from getting me a big three-foot high stuffed puppy dog. I haven't had a stuffed animal of any size since I was a kid, and now, a big one is sitting in my living room. That's right. I'm thirty-two years old and am experiencing puppy dog love with an eighteen year old girl. Woof!

In a month, Maria will be 19. If we stay together until May, it will be a year of dating. I can't tell you why it's still working the way we do it, but it is. Don't fix what isn't broken. It may have taken a long time, but it was sure nice to finally have my first valentine girl.

Chris Jungle has yet to name the big stuffed puppy dog.