5.6.07
Sequel nation
by Jon Worley
Spider-Man 3 broke all kinds of records last weekend. That got me to thinking about sequels. Try these on for size:
Fear and Loathing in North Las Vegas: Recently discovered amongst a pile of half-completed works, this tale sees HST bringing hookers into fundamentalist churches and seeing what happens.
Sgt. Pepper's Other Band: Paul McCartney re-records old Beatles songs with his current touring band and makes sure to change all the writing credits to "McCartney-Lennon."
The Usual Suspects 2: Keyser Sose blows up L.A. with a nuclear weapon. Chazz Palminteri's character has moved up the food chain to the Department of Homeland Security, but he's still too stupid to recognize when the bad guy is laughing at him.
The Reivers: Reiving Season: Something of a confluence between "Firefly" and Faulkner, the maniacal mutants land in Yonknapatawpha County and feel right at home. The crew of Serenity decides to leave them there, but only after a few swigs of sweet tea and bourbon.
Bull Durham 2: Crash and Annie's little boy is called up to the majors, where Crash is managing. Hijinks ensue. Annie still looks fabulous, by the way.
George Bester: The Wedding Present remakes its classic album, this time singing in Tagalog and playing only authentic Filipino instruments.
Return to Where the Wild Things Are: Wherein Max realizes that his parents reward tantrums with attention, and so this time he decides to remain king of all wild things.
The Rapture II: God's Mulligan: I think this one speaks for itself.
Sorry to be so short this week. I'll try to bore you more next time.
Jon Worley will not be seeing Spider-Man 3 any time soon.
|