A friend who runs a vintage clothing store wrote me on Saturday saying business was slow. She (jokingly) asked if this meant our consumer society was on the point of collapse. Another friend posted a bulletin on Friday telling everyone to boycott day after Thanksgiving sales. In the meantime, I saw on TV that a store was selling an eight bottle wine refrigerator for $80. It looks like a toaster oven. Just a tip for those who think such a thing might be useful to anyone. If you've got a wine lover on your list, they have more than eight bottles. And, if someone has eight bottles or less, they don't need a fridge for them. Just trying to help everyone out during this mad season.

Another couple of friends spent twenty four hours in a line to buy the new Playstation 3. Not for their own use, but to sell. It's actually not a bad couple of days of work. You spend a day in line. Buy the thing for $600 and sell it for $1800-2000. I wonder if anyone who bought the P3 on the first day bought it for themselves or if they were just going to flip it (like hot real estate) for a big profit.

I have been hiding this weekend. Not dealing with the madness raging outside my home for good deals on shit they don't need. Of course, I did spend money before the titular Friday sales, so it's not like I'm some benign Buddhist in the face of Capitalism. But fights? Crazy shoplifters and muggers? Not sleeping the night before? Traffic jams at 3 in the morning?

One article mentioned that, other than the two new gaming systems (P3 and the Wii), and a new Tickle Me Elmo (are there any parents who don't want to bash these things into oblivion?), which are all sold out across the country, the hot Christmas gifts are portable DVD players, cashmere sweaters and satchel handbags.

Really? All this fuss over sweaters and purses and another DVD player? Hmmm...

I looked through the ads accompanying my Thanksgiving Day paper, and I didn't really see anything I wanted. Maybe my tastes are limited. Maybe I don't care enough. But I also didn't see anything I felt comfortable buying anyone. All the kids toys (nephews, y'know) look plastic and crappy. They have a new Monopoly game where all the properties have shot up in value because of the huge housing bubble, and the names have all been changed according to some online poll. I wonder what sorry but popular--according those faceless online people--piece of land gets to be those lowly purple properties?

I noticed a department store was selling some blue-green panties at three for ten bucks. I think this might be presumptuous to give to any woman (and I'm not even going to get into what size they might be). Definitely no good for a relative. And for that special girl? Well, aren't you trying to get those panties off?

According to news from the front, insanely low prices on TVs and computers brought out the monster in consumers on Friday. What none of them seemed to realize was there weren't many of these items available. If you didn't get there way before the store opened, you didn't get them. This made some consumers mad. Riots were reported in malls and department stores across the country.

What is the revolution in this country? What brings out the best and worst in people? What inspires people to get out of their suburban cocoons and into the world they live in? Sales. Our election a few weeks ago was relatively civil, but when it comes to shopping, watch out! If being in the Army meant shopping the enemy out of existence, then we'd overwhelm every society in the world. Maybe that's what those blowhards on Sunday morning talk shows were spewing when they rhapsodized about winning the Great War in the 1980s against Communism.

Of course, it's not like I'm immune. Like I never spend money on stuff I don't need. I'm not pure, and there is no way to completely ignore the pull of "spending therapy" in this country. It does make you realize there is a reason to making money. But why on one day or one weekend? Why this crazy frenzy? Can't we do things individually and not en masse all the time? There are four weeks till Christmas. You even get a whole weekend right before the big day.

But this is rational thought. Kind of like going to a buffet and saying, "This time I'm going to take it easy." Hell no, you pay for that buffet and stuff yourself till you have to roll out of the trough to your car. Otherwise you'd have gone to a regular restaurant where you pay per meal like a sensible human being. And, y'know, tip.

Hopefully not everyone over did it this weekend. In a few weeks when that credit card bill comes, it won't give you a spending hangover. Buyer's remorse. Gift envy. These are ugly social diseases that linger on into the new year. But when this time comes around next year, most people will have forgotten the pain and anguish from the year before. And they'll believe that $500 72" Flatter Than A Pancake TV will be theirs--if they just get up early enough.

Matt Worley will go out of the house today. If he sees his shadow and runs back inside, he won't spend any money until the new year.