There are lots of different colors of M & Ms. Now, some people just like the green ones. Or the red ones. For some reason, people don't like the brown ones as much, even though all M & Ms are brown underneath their candy coating. But you've got a choice when you open a bag of M & Ms, and that's the important thing. In the end, most people eat all of the colors, because to leave certain colors uneaten would be very wasteful.

I'm looking into the bag of congressional candidates in my district, and I'm finding there is no choice. It's a rock and a hard place. And us voters are the smashed up creamy center.

I don't like either of these people, and that's like being given the choice of two cups of coffee with different kinds of foam--when what you really want is some tea.

I am not alone in this thought. There are a few people in my fair city who are wondering what kind of scam is going on here.

On the one hand, we have an incumbent (has anyone noticed this word ends with "bent"--as in "crooked") Republican congresswoman who pretty much voted for whatever her party and President wanted. And she has been rewarded with millions of dollars of campaign money. Not voting for her would be not voting for all the things the President wants: like Iraq and warrantless wiretapping and torture and a big wall on New Mexico's southern border.

On the other hand, we have a lawyer entrenched in the New Mexico Democratic party. Someone who may or may not have turned a blind eye to a corrupt state treasurer. And, apparently, she's a lawyer turned politician who doesn't want to debate her opponent on TV. I thought all lawyers wanted to be on TV. I don't really know what she stands for because every ad she puts out is about how bad the incumbent is--and I already know all of that shit.

I'm also not alone in wondering why the Democratic strategy in New Mexico this year is to not debate on TV. Our governor and another congressman (in Northern New Mexico) are doing the same thing. Of course, the governor doesn't really have much of a fight on his hands. And, to his credit, all of his ads are about him and how great he is. So he gets to stay sparkling clean in this last election before he runs for President in 2008.

But this fight in my congressional district is almost a dead heat. It's one of the bellwethers, as some people like to say. If the Republican loses, it's a mandate against the President. If she wins, she's damn lucky. I have no idea how she's gotten elected for the last ten or so years, except that Democrats have always run horrible campaigns against her (or, in the case of her first two elections--a special one and then another just a few months later--she ran against a rich man-child who had no business in politics, except he used his own money, which his party was grateful for).

Here is my conundrum: if I don't vote, the incumbent might win. And I don't want that to happen. But if I vote for the Democrat and she wins, then I'll have to vote for her over the next ten years or so she's in congress, because she won't have any competition in her primary if she's an incumbent. Hell, she didn't have any competition this year because she was anointed the party pick before the primary and no one else ran.

Which leaves me with no choice at all.

And I like choice. I have four flavors of Doritos in my cupboard. I have at least eight different types of wine on the rack. I have thousands of CDs. Hundreds of DVDs. About 75 channels of TV (although none of them show the Lobos playing football, dammit). I frequent at least five different bars for food and happy hour. There are lots of different restaurants to choose from.

My whole life is about choice, but when it comes to who is going to represent my interests in congress, I have no choice. There isn't anyone who is trying to represent a single, non-parent, unemployed, rock n' rolling, writer, artist, hiker...and so many other things no one wants to be champion of.

Back in fifth grade, I ran for mayor of a one-day fake town against a sixth grader. For some reason, back then I thought it was less than genteel to vote for myself. But I lost by more than one vote. There were more sixth graders than fifth graders, and the kids pretty much voted in a block.

Kind of like how it seems we're all supposed to do this year with the congressional elections.

I'm thinking of voting for me. Write in candidate Matt Worley. I'm old enough, and I certainly stand for my own interests. And I know no one has tried to bribe me with campaign funds. I certainly didn't vote for this war (or wars, for that matter). Yep, I'm the best candidate, given the choices I have.

And it's all about choice.

Matt Worley is declaring himself a write-in candidate for the first congressional district of New Mexico. Feel free to vote for him. He'd debate, but that kind of thing is so last year.