I'm a godless heathen.

I've been hearing a lot about how my kind has been bringing down the great nation of the United States lately. It's amazing how little faith some people of faith have in their own beliefs. Especially when they come up against believers of nothing.

A few weeks back, I happened on a TV news talk show where the separation of church and state was being discussed. After bringing up all the instances they could think of where leaders used God or the Bible or their personal faith in speeches, it was declared that the downfall of the nation would happen because of the unfaithful. Because kids aren't allowed to pray before they take a test or play a football game.

In yesterday's paper, one of the conservative commentators (a local guy, who, usually, is just reprinting the Republican Party talking points of the week) blamed the actions of people at Enron and Global Crossing on the separation of church and state. That, in fact, capitalism without morality (not specifically Christian, but the "Protestant Work Ethic" was mentioned quite a few times) cannot hold. Apparently just mentioning that politics should not be ruled by specific religious tenants is making otherwise religious people lose their morality and act in irresponsible ways.

Jack Abramoff, the lobbyist who bilked many Native American tribes out of millions of dollars, called on God to forgive him, along with the rest of the Christian nation. That his trespasses be forgiven. Luckily for us, God didn't come down, bless him and smite the judge who put him in the clinker.

By the way Jack, does this mean you are in favor of illegal immigrants having their trespasses forgiven? Y'know, being a little more literal on that whole trespass thing.

In a recent survey of U.S. citizens, it turns out 4% or so of the nation are atheists. There are more agnostics (the wishy washy of the bunch) and an even bigger (20%) pile of non-specific, but religious anyway people. Which means there are more gay men and women than atheists (and that, in fact, a majority of gay people are religious). I think there are more wiccans than atheists. There are more U.S. citizens on the dole than atheists.

But us un-believers, we're the ones bringing down the country.

And maybe it's just because Easter is next week. Everyone is thinking about what they believe because this year there isn't a Mel Gibson bloodfest to flesh out their beliefs on the silver screen. Of course, there are quite a few horror movies in the theater at the moment, and they have many moments of redemption for the good and death for the evildoers (that's the whole point of horror movies). Maybe you could check out Slither instead of going to church next week.

OK, maybe not. But it seems like the overwhelming majority in the country is getting a little overzealous in blaming the godless heathens. Trust me, we ain't taking over the country.

In fact, the only religious things that really bug me is when people thank God for acts of randomness. Like winning the lottery. Or winning the NCAAs. As if God is saying these people deserve millions (or to win the game) and those other ones (who, mostly, believe in Him just the same) don't. I mean, that's a rather particular--and interventionist--God if He's fixing games of chance.

So just to clear this up for anyone who's shaking in their boots about the unclean and unforgiven: there is no way a man or woman who professes to NOT believe in a god will ever get elected to a position of great power in this country any time soon. And, probably, not before any of us make it to the finish line.

If the mere presence of these heathens is causing the believers to abandon their morality, well, I'd say their belief is pretty shaky. And that's not my problem.

This morning on CNN, the Prez's thoughts on what to do with Iran were described as "messianic." He is crusading, apparently, to save the world by nuking Iran. This scares me. Because, apparently, he's not thinking of himself as the President, elected by slightly over half the voters in the country. He's thinking he is, somehow, divinely touched. And there's no talking to the divinely touched--not by mere mortals anyway.

And since I don't believe there is a god who would put the Prez in time out for this crazy headed mission, I'm a little frightened about where the country might be heading.

So who's the monster here? Who is delusional? Who is out of touch with morality and reality?

Matt Worley apologizes if his words cause anyone to fall from grace. He is not a missionary for the non-believers. And he really likes Jesus Christ Superstar.