12.24.06
The highs & lows
an accumulated SUIT column by Chris Jungle
On a personal, professional, local, national & international standpoint, it's been quite a year, but let's keep it simple:
0 terrorist attacks in the United States. Hooray!
Thousands of terrorist attacks in Iraq. Boo!
1 girlfriend for Chris Jungle to date since May. Whoopie!
1 radio stolen the first time she brings her car to his place. Crap!
1 election to change the balance of power in Washington. Kick the bums out!
1 Secretary of Defense resigns, and on his way out, he finally admits there are problems with the strategy. Good riddance!
4 plays that Chris Jungle performed in this year. Acting! Genius! Thank You!
2 movies that the Jungle was an extra background person. Weren't you the guy behind the guy?
2 on-going wars in the name of fighting terror. Phah!
0 victories which ended either of them. Poo!
Over 1500 hours & 20,000 miles in the cab to pay the bills. All right!
0 accidents in the Yellow Cab. Whew!
200 million dollars spent by the New York Yankees for their roster. Whoa!
1 World Series championship for the St. Louis Cardinals (1st since 1982). Anyone but the Yankees!
20 gigs played by my band Old Beans. Rock on!
3 short plays by David Mamet directed by yours truly. My Luck!
90 years that my Grandma has lived. Love you!
6 years that I have endured our president. Hate you!
100 dollars paid to the police for a Big Brother photo ticket. Fuck you!
Dozens of films watched by the critic Jungle. The Departed kicks ass!
Uncountable references to George Clooney by the media. Enough!
1 divorce by mother of two Britney Spears. More than Enough!
2 weddings attended by yours truly. Hallelujah!
1 actual church service attended by yours truly. Amen!
1 drug test passed by yours truly. Suckers!
Countless immigrants crossing the US border. Woof!
0 solutions to this issue. Dang it!
1 nuclear test by North Korea. Uh oh!
0 talks between the US and North Korea. That's strategy!
1 transmission busted on my beloved Escort. Sigh & good-bye.
Dozens of plays attended by the patron Jungle. Bravo!
At least 60 miles run by the athlete Jungle. Breathe in, breathe out!
Almost 50 columns (& ten years worth) by the babbling Jungle. Don't call them blogs!
1 more year down the drain & bucket full of hope for a better future for all the people scampering around this planet!
Merry Christmas & Happy New Year, SUIT readers! The best is yet to come!
36 exclamation points used by Chris Jungle in this column.
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