It's time to shed a crocodile tear for Kenny Boy. Poor Kenneth Lay died this week of a "heart attack" at the tender age of 64. For those who need a reminder, Ken Lay was the founder of Enron and convicted recently of one of the most sprawling business frauds in U.S. history. Most of Enron's financial standing toward the end was based on false partnerships and schemes rather than the profits reported to its investors and the public.

Although he was convicted of participating in the massive white collar crime, Lay wasn't scheduled to be sentenced until October 23. So he had another three and half months before he had to go to jail for pretty much the rest of his life. Instead, Kenny Boy died of an unexpected massive coronary. Yeah right. Call it euthanasia, call it poetic justice, but don't call it unexpected or tragic.

Hemingway took a gun to his head, Hunter Thompson took a gun to his head, Robert Farnsworth took a gun to his head and Kurt Kobain took a gun to his head. I admire all these men for different reasons, and they all came to the same conclusion on how to leave this life. I'm wagering that Lay sentenced himself to his own capital punishment and got someone to perform the five point exploding heart technique. While I haven't met anyone who thinks Lay's death was brought on by natural causes, no one will publicly admit to it being a suicide. Go ahead and keep the lie going. I don't admire that man at all.

I don't want to belabor the sins of Kenneth Lay too much because there are sadly millions of Americans who would swindle their fellow man out of millions and billions of dollars if only given the chance. What it does show is the continuing American hypocrisy regarding white collar crime.

If you steal a car and are caught, you go directly to jail. If you can't make bail, you sit in jail. If you are convicted, you are sentenced and sent back to jail. If someone swindles billions of dollars from investors from all walks of life, it takes about four years to go to trial. It takes very little time to find that person guilty and convict the blatant thief, and it takes another five months to sentence the criminal. Meanwhile, Mr. White Collar Crime has time to hang out at his vacation home in Aspen before calling it quits. He will serve no jail time.

What is the message sent? What is the lesson learned? The only thought that truly resonates from this whole fiasco is DON'T TRUST THE RICH. Don't believe the bile that comes out of their mouths (I'm talking to you, politicians), don't believe the trickle down economy theory (I'm talking to you, business owners), and don't believe that they have the divine plan for you (I'm talking to you, religious leaders). Everybody is out for themselves, and don't believe otherwise. Only blatantly obvious benevolent actions will disprove this truth, and those come few and far between.

You may be thinking, big deal. One bad apple in our beautiful capitalist system. We should all still aspire to great riches and stepping on our fellow man to get ahead. Don't let the Enrons, oil companies, and defense contractors of the world get you down. Don't let one bad apple spoil the whole damn bunch. It's a beautiful cliche, but the problem is the working class doesn't even have access to the apples, let alone the opportunity to fish out the bad ones. Here's another cliche: Power Corrupts and Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely.

Given the current trend, the steady base of the middle class is disappearing. People are either getting rich or going into massive debt. It's as simple as that, people are either getting richer or poorer. The middle class, which pays the most taxes and gets the least tax breaks, shoulders the intense burden of keeping this country churning. The more rich people we have, the more white collar crimes will occur. The more poor people we have, the uglier our society will be. The poor will go to jail, and the rich will have massive coronaries at their vacation homes in Aspen. It is the way of things these days.

All I can say is trust the promises of millionaires as much as you do the promises of the meek. They are the extremes, the most aggressive and the least repentant of their faults. They will screw you over for another dollar and blame you for the troubles they cause. Worst of all, there are going to be more and more rich and poor as we go.

Chris Jungle never invested in Enron.