We got him, America. We got him. Abu Musab al-Zarqawi will no longer haunt your dreams. Abu Musab al-Zarqawi can do you no more harm. Abu Musab al-Zarqawi had two 500 lb. bombs dropped on his hide out. Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi.

If you say his name enough times, you start to wonder what the big deal was. I really don't know much about the man, except that my country blamed him for every death in Iraq. They showed us videos of his hooded rants. Earlier this year, he took off the hood, so we could see his terrorist face. My country showed us a video of him shooting an automatic weapon rather wildly before the gun jammed. Now, they show pictures of his dead body. Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, we hardly knew ye.

When the World Trade Centers fell almost FIVE YEARS AGO, I didn't know anything about Abu Musab al-Zarqawi. I learned about Osama bin-Laden. No matter what intelligence you considered reliable, everyone agreed that Osama was the mastermind behind the greatest attack on mainland America since the Civil War. We have never caught him.

Because of Osama bin-Laden, we went to fight in Afghanistan. We are still fighting in Afghanistan, and Osama bin-Laden is not in Afghanistan. Because of Osama bin-Laden, we went to fight in Iraq. We are still fighting in Iraq, and Osama bin-Laden is not in Iraq. Because of Osama bin-Laden, we killed Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, a man we didn't know existed almost FIVE YEARS AGO.

The newspaper stated that Abu Musab al-Zarqawi has been replaced by Abu Abdul-Rahman al-Iraqi. You'll forgive me if I don't commit his name to memory for a while. The truth is that I didn't really pay attention to the name Abu Musab al-Zarqawi for a while either. When we went into Iraq, the name we heard was Saddam Hussein. That's a name we had known for a while. He had been in charge of Iraq for a long time. Back in the 1980s, he was buddies with Donald Rumsfeld and Dick Cheney. In the early 90s, G. H. W. Bush reintroduced him to us as an evil man. He sent in American troops, and they mowed down everything on the road to Baghdad. Then, he brought everyone home from the ONE MONTH war, and we assumed everything was as it should be.

After the World Trade Centers fell in 2001 & American forces went into Afghanistan, my country began to blame Saddam Hussein for lots of things. Saddam Hussein was connected with the Trade Center attack (not true), Saddam Hussein has weapons of mass destruction (not true), Saddam Hussein is the boogeyman (not true). Nevertheless, the untruths worked well enough to stage another war in Iraq.

The invasion went much like it did the first time, except the troops went into Baghdad and decided to stick around and occupy the country. The Americans were not treated as liberators (as my country assumed), and Iraqis and American troops began to die by the dozens (almost 2500 American troops dead to date).

Then, we caught him. No, not Osama bin-Laden. Saddam Hussein! We caught him hiding in a hole, unshaven, unclean, and unimpressive. That was the man we rolled into Iraq to get, and we got him. Mission Accomplished!

It didn't stop the killing. It didn't stop the bombing. It didn't stop the horrors of war.

These days, Saddam Hussein is creating a ruckus at his trial in Iraq, looking trim and healthy. These days, Osama bin-Laden is the ghost in the machine, sending out an occasional video & looking trim and healthy. He is Mission Impossible. He is not a priority.

So there you have it. Almost FIVE YEARS after the World Trade Center Towers fell, Osama bin-Laden is alive and well, Saddam Hussein is alive and well, & Abu Musab al-Zarqawi is dead. Funny how things turn out.

It's been very difficult to fathom, explain or rationalize the events, motivations & strategies of my country in the 21st Century. My government can look me square in the eye and say anything they please. They can close their eyes to domestic protests and international pressure. They can say who is good and who is evil. Some good people are dying, and some evil people live on. They told me Abu Musab al-Zarqawi was evil. Now, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi is dead, and I don't really know what to think about it. All I do know is that I've said the name Abu Musab al-Zarqawi more times in this column than I have at any other time in my life.

And I will probably not say Abu Musab al-Zarqawi very much ever again.

Chris Jungle has no middle or hyphenated name.