It has finally happened. A gallon of milk cost less than a gallon of regular unleaded gasoline. I can get two gallons of milk on sale for four dollars. I can get a gallon of gas for $289.9 (at least this week). I asked the convenience store clerk "why so much?" It's the same gas we've always had. It's not new and improved. It's not a special "green" version of gas. It's not even scent-free. It's the same gas I've bought since the 80s. The convenience store clerk shrugged her shoulders and said "I don't know, hon. You want to buy a lottery ticket?"

The truth is that apparently no one knows what's up with gas prices. Congress asked the oil companies, and after checks were passed around, no one could find any wrong doing or price gouging. Mr. President, you grew up with oil money. You made millions as a businessman. Surely, you can explain what's going on. After thorough deliberation, the DECIDER decided there was nothing he could do about gas prices. By the way, the main definition of Decide is to arrive at a solution that ends uncertainty or dispute. Mr. President, you are not nor have you ever been the decider.

Maybe the oil companies are just keeping up with inflation. Maybe NOT. They are causing inflation. Everything costs a buck more now because all goods must be transported. This means the same gas cost more, so things cost more to transport, so the goods cost more, and the American people pay more. That's inflation, oil company style.

The outgoing CEO of Exxon received $400 million for his retirement parachute. That's more than one dollar paid by every American citizen. The oil companies are making record PROFITS. The most money ever made by any companies in the history of THE EARTH. I guess that's fitting considering that it's the Earth that's getting poked and sucked for all these profits.

So What Can We Do About It? Protest? I don't think so. We've been protesting Immigration reform, protesting the war in Iraq. Yesterday, people were marching for medical marijuana in my town. These days, it seems that protests guarantee nothing will happen. What are we supposed to do? Protest convenient stores?

With all the geniuses in this country, we still can't figure out a cheaper than three dollar substitute for gasoline for our vehicles. Every year, scientists and engineers graduate from all these higher education institutions, and not one of them has come to the forefront with a new viable concept to replace gasoline. YOU SUCK, SCIENTISTS & ENGINEERS! Every freaky geeky one of you.

Since the 1970s, we've gone from LPs to 8-tracks to cassettes to CDs. We've gone from film to VHS tape to Laser Discs to DVDs. What has gasoline done since the oil shocks of the 70s. RAISED PRICES. Where is the upgrade? Where is the emission free fuel? Where is any improvement at all, oil companies? Ethanol mixtures? Pitiful, absolutely pitiful. How about a car that runs on milk? It's freaking cheaper these days! How about the natural gas from my farts? Those don't cost me a thing!

The truth is oil companies have very little interest in improving fuel. They are interested in profits, and they are getting it. They are getting off of every person in America. We scoff & hem & haw about raising minimum wage in this country from $5.15 an hour because of what it will do to small business & blah blah blah. An hour of minimum wage won't get you two gallons of gas these days.

And still, no one seems to know what to do about it. The gas prices seem to be controlling themselves. We are at its mercy. We don't know what to do. We're idiots. We're sheep. We're lemmings. People commute 100 miles round trip every day and find nothing wrong with the lifestyle. Someday, everything you're driving away from every day is going to find you, and you'll have to move farther away and commute longer.

As I've said for years, we get exactly what we deserve. Right now, we apparently deserved to be gouged by The Powers That Be, and there's nothing anyone can do about it. At least, that's what they will insist on until they are no longer The Powers That Be.

Chris Jungle has begun stockpiling his farts in a jar.