"Hey sailor, never mind about that deck. I got new orders for you."

If you act long enough in the theatre scene, it is almost inevitable that you'll end up in a children's play. After whiffing on a couple other auditions, I went into The Albuquerque Little Theater in February with little expectations for a play called Ozma of Oz. I was just going to have some fun at the auditions and see what happened. Tons of little kids, some high schoolers & college kids, a couple old men, and me. Was this really a scene for an actor in his early 30s? The answer was YES! I was double cast as Sam (The Sailor) & The General, one of two actors to get multiple roles.

Sailor Sam is a grouchy captain who bosses around his counterpart Steve as well as Dorothy & Uncle Henry as they sail for Australia. Much like the well known Wizard of Oz, a natural disaster occurs in the form of an ocean storm, and Dorothy and Uncle Henry are whisked away to Oz.

"Kids and old people. I don't know why they let them on this boat."

Ozma of Oz is the third book in the series written by L. Frank Baum, and the play was written by Susan Zeder. The playwright took many liberties and molded the story into generational relationship tale between young Dorothy & old Uncle Henry. They run into all sorts of crazy characters like Bill the Chicken, The Wheelers & Tik-Tok (The Time Machine). They start time in Oz, which had been suspended, and everything goes haywire. They must find Ozma to set everything right again.

"I'm the General."

Eventually, Ozma arrives on the scene with her General (that's me!) & Army (of one) carrying her on a litter and singing her theme song. I definitely got stronger in the arms & chest from the heavy lifting. My Army counterpart, a high school junior named Graham, also doubled as Sailor Steve. We became proper buffoons together. As General, I give off an heir of distinguished status even though I am quite incompetent. I wear a big furry green marching band hat and jazzed up coat, resembling a wacky drum major. Ozma fights all of her battles herself, makes her own decisions, and really doesn't need us for anything. But we sure are funny to watch.

"You saved my life."

General's big blunder occurs as Ozma, Dorothy, General & Army must pass through rocks smashing together. Everyone clears the rocks successfully except General, who overconfidently trips between the rocks. Ozma jumps down and keeps the rocks from smashing me. The audience burst into applause quite often after Ozma's successful feat.

"Ozma always tells the truth."

Ozma leads the quartet to the lair of The Gnome King, who has captured Uncle Henry, Bill & Tic-Tok. The Army & General are too scared to enter and show their true feelings by crying in front of Ozma. I bring out the Cowardly Lion in me, and Army & I clutch each other for support before we flee at the cackle of The Gnome King. Ozma & Dorothy go down in to the lair and must deal with The Gnome King, playing his games, getting captured & trick The Gnome King up to the surface where sun can melt him. A big fight occurs under the surface with wheelchair ridden Uncle Henry proving he can still pack a punch. On the surface, the melee continues with General, Army, & the Wheelers joining the frenzy. I actually cower in front of The Gnome King and watch the battle behind my pink binoculars (nice choice by props guru Genesis).

"Ozma, you're safe."

Ozma & The Gnome King square off in a big showdown with staffs & hand to hand moves. One front row kid even screamed out excitedly "Star Wars! It's Star Wars!" Sure enough, the sun comes up, The Gnome King melts, and Oz is safe again. Sadly, Tik-Tok must be turned off (even kids plays have martyrs), and Uncle Henry & Dorothy choose to leave Oz and go back to the real world.

"This boat don't go to Kansas."

Sure enough, everything works out all right, and the sailors bookend the play with real world attitude. Not the most difficult acting I've ever done, but it sure was fun. We performed 10 shows in eleven days (two shows for school kids on Thursdays), with fairly solid houses. The theatre packed in over 400 kids for one show, making it the most people I've ever performed for on stage. 21 actors ranging in age from nine to 69, crazy fun costumes, a big set, fights, morals, and some silliness sure can make for good hundred-minute play. I learned that I can work well with and for kids. It's pretty much a 180 from my last play when I had my heart ripped out as the villainous Dr. Frankenstein, but stretch that talent, I say. It's nice to get some laughs for a change. ALT does three or four Family Series Plays a year, and although this was my only stab at children's theatre thus far, I have a funny feeling it won't be my last.

Chris Jungle has been escaping to other realities since he was born.