I was watching the Brut Bowl on Friday (which my beloved Tigers managed to lose 39-38) when CBS News cut in to give us pictures of Gerald Ford's coffin being bandied about in the desert. No disrespect, but come on. Telephoto shots of a sarcophagus being hauled into an astoundingly ostentatious Episcopal church? No thanks. All I missed were two fumbles and an interception that, apparently, wasn't. It was that kind of football game.

Anyway, during the somewhat unsettling coverage of Ford's first funeral, Katie Couric decided to address the "buzz" (her word) about Saddam Hussein's possibly impending execution. Eeew. You're semi-broadcasting the funeral of the 38th president of the United States, and while some guy in a funny hat (I think; the pictures weren't too clear) was rambling on about "brother Gerald," you're sitting there dishing the possible execution of one of our nation's greatest enemies? Hello? Taste alert?

Oh well. They got back to the game for the second half, and indeed, the Iraqis got around to hanging Hussein at dawn (Iraq time). And that utterly bizarre juxtaposition of dead ex-president of the U.S. and soon-to-be-dead ex-president of Iraq stuck with me. No matter what you may think, you're never completely in charge of your life.

Hussein had it right. Among his last words were "Anyone who takes this route should not be afraid." Of death, he meant. Of course, Hussein spent most of his time in power hiding out in bunkers and trying to make sure no one killed him. There may be lots of perks to being the dictator of an oil-rich nation: lots of nice houses, plenty of whores, good food, Jay-Z on the iPod...but in the back of your mind, there's always the thought that payback's a bitch.

I don't know if it's easier to know your execution date (give or take a week) or simply live your life as if each day really might be your last, but it's safe to say that hanging is a more dignified death than Hussein would have gotten if he hadn't been toppled by the U.S. invasion. I'm not saying hanging was too good for him; I think making him a martyr is colossally stupid. But getting strung up is a somewhat more dignified method of termination than what happened to the Romanovs or the Ceausescus. It's all relative, of course. Dead is dead.

As for our recently departed ex-president, the historians have been lining up to say all the nice things they never said while he was alive. Turns out he wasn't a bumbling boob who fell off airplane ramps and made a secret deal to spring the Trickster. It seems he was in reality a dignified athlete who served his country with grace and distinction.

It's always good form to say something nice about the departed, and even those who didn't like Ford's career seem to truly believe he was a decent man. That's cool. I don't know much about him. I went to kindergarten in the fall of 1975 believing that Richard Nixon was still the president. My teacher corrected me, and I was upset. I remember my parents explaining that Nixon quit because he did something wrong with the Post Office. I must've gotten confused. But anyway, I didn't even know that Ford was president more than halfway through his only term in office.

And he wasn't in charge, either. Vietnam ended on his watch, and he couldn't do much about it. The economy sucked, and he couldn't do much about that, either. Kinda sucks to be the leader of the free world and still be relatively powerless.

Our current prez knows all about that. He did everything he thought was right, and it all turned to shit. The people don't like him or his ideas or even his party. And now he's got to spend two years in lame duck minority hell.

Hey, even us regular folks know there's no such thing as absolute power. Parents are supposed to have control of their kids. At least the little ones. My boys are two and almost five. You think I have control over them? Yeah, right. They're good kids, but if they feel like ignoring my or my wife, well, they do. Punishments can be severe, but they can't make a kid do what that kid won't do.

There's no way, short of killing a person, to truly subvert the will of that person. And once you've killed them, well, there's not much point to subverting their will.

I'm not advocating killing kids. Just the opposite. We're not in charge. I mean parents aren't in charge, mayors aren't in charge, professional sports team owners aren't in charge, CEOs aren't in charge, presidents aren't in charge and even the self-proclaimed greatest nation on the face of the earth is not in charge.

Only one thing to do: Get over it.

Jon Worley is in charge of his beer cellar. For the most part.